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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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With the rapid advancement of technology,
smartphones
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 have become an indispensable part of our daily lives.
In particular
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,
children
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 spend a significant amount of time using
smartphones
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 on a daily basis.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons for
this
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 trend and its effects, and I personally believe that
this
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 is a negative development for society. There are several reasons for
children
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's excessive
use
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 of
smartphones
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.
Firstly
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, parents often buy
smartphones
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 for their
children
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 to keep them occupied, allowing parents to attend to other tasks.
Secondly
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, the availability of
smartphones
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 in the market and society has created a desire among
children
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 to own one.
Finally
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, the increasing trend of virtual classes in the education system is
also
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 contributing to
children
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's
use
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 of
smartphones
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.
However
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, the effects of
smartphones
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 on
children
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 are predominantly negative. The easy accessibility of games,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and other features on
smartphones
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 can result in addiction.
For example
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, some
children
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 spend 8 to 10 hours a day playing games on their mobile phones, leading to physical problems
such
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 as eye strain,
neck
Correct word choice
and neck
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 and back pain.
Additionally
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, excessive
use
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 of
smartphones
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 has been linked to serious mental health issues
such
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 as depression.
This
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 has resulted in a situation where
children
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 are disregarding their parents and other adults.
On the other hand
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,
smartphones
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also
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 have several benefits if used wisely.
For instance
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, they can be utilized for educational purposes,
such
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 as online classes, educational videos, and articles.
Additionally
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,
smartphones
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 are highly valuable in emergency situations,
such
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 as when someone is lost and needs to navigate their way back home. In conclusion,
smartphones
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 have become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 in our lives, but it is important that
children
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use
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 them wisely and under parental supervision.
Otherwise
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, excessive
use
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 of
smartphones
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 can have negative effects on the development of
children
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's personalities and health.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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