IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
In
this
 day and age, more and more
people
 think advertising can improve the
sales
 of
products
 that
customers
 do not need.
Although
this
 can be true to a certain extent, it is my firm belief that advertising does not have an important effect on the
sales
 of
products
. On the one hand, there are certain reasons why advertising can increase
sales
 of goods that
people
 do not need.
First,
a brand can attract a
lot
 of
customers
 through advertising. Some
people
 do not need some
products
 but when they see advertising on the internet or on the road about them, they may buy them.
For example
, every year a
lot
 of
people
 queue to buy the latest iPhone, even when they already have a perfect phone that does not need replacing.
Second,
there are a
lot
 of
people
 who want to update fashion trends.
Therefore
, advertisements are shown over and over to make the
customers
 pay more attention to them.
As a result
, more
people
 know and may buy their
products
.
On the other hand
, I personally believe that commercials cannot improve
sales
 of
products
 that
people
 do not want to buy.
To begin
 with, there are a
lot
 of
people
 who do not care about advertising. The main reason is that they only buy
products
 which they need even though commercials appear in front of them.
Also
, they may feel annoyed about advertisements because they are repeated many times.
Moreover
, there are a
lot
 of
people
 who have a hard life so advertising cannot convince them to buy goods that they do not need. The main reason for
this
 is that they are really poor so they only have money for
products
 which are necessary for their families. To illustrate
this
 point, poor
people
 can not buy an expensive car though commercials for the car are everywhere. In conclusion,
while
 advertising can help brands sell more goods that
people
 do not need, I am firmly convinced that brands cannot sell their
products
 when
customers
 do not want to buy them.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: