IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think it is necessary to open compulsory art classes, such as painting classes; while others believe it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

There is an ongoing debate about whether art education should be mandatory as part of the school curriculum.
While
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 some argue that it is unnecessary, I strongly believe that art programs play a vital role in fostering mental development in various ways. On one hand, imagination classes help develop creativity, self-expression, and critical thinking. To illustrate
this
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, these skills are crucial not only in artistic fields but
also
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 across various areas of life and work, as many careers value employees who can generate new ideas and offer multiple perspectives, qualities often found in artistically inclined individuals.
For example
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, a recent study showed that 75% of project managers had taken painting classes during their youth.
Furthermore
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, artistic activities can improve mental health and reduce stress by giving students an outlet for their emotions.
On the other hand
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, critics contend that artistry courses consume valuable time that could be better spent on core academic subjects, including mathematics, science, and languages, especially for pupils who have no interest or talent in
such
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 a profession.
Moreover
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, not all schools have the resources or qualified teachers to offer high-quality craft courses, making compulsory instruction uneven in its effectiveness.
For example
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, research published in the Advanced Education Journal showed that 34% of learners reported not applying what they had learned during painting and sculpture activities.
To conclude
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,
although
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 artistic exploration is sometimes viewed as a luxury, I am convinced that art should be an integral part of one's education, at least in the early years of schooling. Drawing sessions can enrich students' worldviews and support learning in other academic areas.

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task response
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your main points more explicitly.
task response
Provide more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments, especially when discussing the benefits of art education.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to create better flow between ideas, especially in the second paragraph.
task response
Ensure all parts of the argument are balanced, perhaps by including more points against compulsory art classes before stating your opinion.
task response
You provided a clear opinion and discussed both views effectively, which is important for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are logically structured, making it easy to follow your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster creativity
  • emotional intelligence
  • empathy
  • express and understand complex emotions
  • highly academic subjects
  • mental well-being
  • attention to detail
  • transferable skills
  • core academic subjects
  • future job markets
  • interest or aptitude
  • mandatory classes
  • ineffective and unenjoyable
  • optional art classes
  • develop their talents
  • resources and funding
  • wider academic benefits
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