IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People who buy friendly vehicles like electric cars should receive a subsidy on tax. This will discourage people from buying polluting cars and thus lower emissions. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #vehicles #cars #subsidy #tax #emissions
In the modern world, we have many options to
use
 for
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
. Many
people
 think that the government must have some attraction to make
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 citizen desire to buy
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 electric
car
 because it can reduce many
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 problems with can made from
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
cars
.
However
, In my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
that
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 really agree with
this
 statement was mentioned in
this
 topic.
Firstly
, many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the current time
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 a lot of normal
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 with high consumption of
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
 and gas demands. In the same way, both had many
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
used
Replace the word
users
show examples
such
 as air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 or
noice
Correct your spelling
noise
 in the urban areas.
On the other hand
, they found a new solution to fix
that problems
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems
show examples
 that we called
"ELECTRIC
Correct article usage
the "ELECTRIC
show examples
CAR
" but they had some
barrier
Fix the agreement mistake
barriers
show examples
 to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a success for everyone
use
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 new solution, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it has a high investment cost and
directly
Change the word
direct
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a high
price
. The
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 citizens don't have enough money to pay for a new
car
imidiately
Correct your spelling
immediately
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 of they had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
expense
Change to a plural noun
expenses
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
before and if they had more expensive than
traditional
Add an article
a traditional
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. They will desire to buy a gas
car
 more than
electric
Correct article usage
an electric
show examples
because
Correct pronoun usage
one because
show examples
 of the
price
.
Moreover
, in many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
such
 as
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Thailand, they don't have
a good facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
good facilities
a good facility
show examples
 to support
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 electric ecosystem.
In
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
currently
Replace the word
current
show examples
, all
EV
cars
 take a lot of time to charge
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 battery
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than one hour to get a
fully
Replace the word
full
show examples
 status. And many
people
 had
thier accomodation
Correct your spelling
their accommodation
 in
Correct article usage
a condominium
show examples
condominium
Fix the agreement mistake
condominiums
show examples
 or
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
show examples
 without
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
EV
charger
Fix the agreement mistake
chargers
show examples
. They must
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
charge their
EV
car
 in
gas
Add an article
a gas
the gas
show examples
station
Fix the agreement mistake
stations
show examples
 with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 only two or three charging platforms so it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 a lot of
unconvinience
Correct your spelling
inconvenience
convenience
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their users because
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 they must to
waiting
Change the form of the verb
wait
show examples
 for only one charge
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 living area.
On the other hand
, if
EV
cars
 have a lower
price
 than
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
cars
, it can make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
 to desire for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 to buy
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 new
vehilce
Correct your spelling
vehicle
, but in case of outstanding low
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
. The
price
 will include a
tax
 for
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 and some type of
tax
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
fix
Change the verb form
fixing
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 level, but, if
EV
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
solution
 to emit. The government should reduce the
tax
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 section to convince
thier
Correct your spelling
their
people
 to
use
 a new
car
 in
EV
 type.
For the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 conclusion that the government should reduce their
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
tax
 to increase
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 attraction demand for
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 like
EV
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and the direct effect when
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
use
EV
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, it will
be reduce
Change the verb form
reduce
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
 in the same way.
Submitted by teerapatt.sk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: