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Writing Samples
Band 5

The amount of time children using internet has doubled. Parents should control the amount of time their children spend on the internet. Do you agree?

#amount #time #children #internet #parents #control
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it is undeniable that in
Correct article usage
the mordern
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mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
 era the
usage
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 of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 by young has been increasing day by day.A highly controversial issue today relates to
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 parents should bound
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of
usage
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 in order to restrict their
Use synonyms
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 from
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 or not .
i
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I
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 agree with
rubric
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a rubric
the rubric
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. on the one
hand
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,hand
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 it is true to say that
these day
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this day
these days
show examples
 the
use
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 and function of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is very crucial for all young people and
therefore
Linking Words
 every teen should understand their importance.
furthermore
Linking Words
,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 not only
give
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gives
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 access to get information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the world but
also
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 aids to do
diffrent
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different
 tasks with the
use
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 of
internet
Use synonyms
 .
for instance
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 these days most young can easily book tickets for travel
as well as
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 entertainment
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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 taking help from their parents.
In
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addition
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,addition
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
also
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 provide
platform
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a platform
show examples
 for learning
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 student
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
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 any student can learn for any competition exam at home
thus
Linking Words
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is vital as part of life.
on the other hand
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 ,
althoough
Correct your spelling
although
internet
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 various
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 but the limitation on the
usage
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 of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 is equally important owing to various reasons which cause
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 effect
firstly
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,
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
 mostly teen
use
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 social media and there they give heavy
time
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 period
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
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 they unable to provide
time
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 for their studies
as well as
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 outdoor sports .to
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
 a survey done by the educational department of USA where they found that student who give their greater
time
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 on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, performs poor on academic. In conclusion ,I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 how big the importance of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the usage
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usage
Replace the word
using
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 of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 but excessive
use
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 of
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is destructive
thus
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 should fix
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 of
usage
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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