Nowadays, a number of people with health problems are trying medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor Do you think this is positive or a negative development.

This
graph highlights the information about the UK’s multimedia audiences on one day in 2018. It is clearly noticeable that the highest raise in the involved population rate was both at 11 am and at 11 pm for radio at 29% and television at 45% respectively.
According to
the graph, until 3 am more people
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
to listening to the radio
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
watching the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
TV, and after that the TV spectators’ number’s dominance was plain. Having
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated between 2 and 6
percents
Correct your spelling
per cent
show examples
,
an amount
Change the quantifier
a number
show examples
of people who watched
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV in the morning from 6 am to 12 am, increased sharply until reaching
its’
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
peak at 11 pm. There was a
downwarding
Correct your spelling
downward
trend in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
television audience percentage from 10 pm to 6:30 am
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next day
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10 times from 40% to 4%. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
radio audience, there was a flowing decrease since its’
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
only one raise at 11 am,
thus
gradually tending to only 3% at 4 am.
Submitted by libranefertiti93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: