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Writing Samples
Band 8

Healthcare is a universal right and should be guaranteed by the government. To what extent you agree or disagree with the given statement?

#healthcare #right #government
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It is a popular belief that
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should be funded by the State in order to give everybody access to medical treatment.
This
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 essay will argue that
this
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 statement is a very agreeable one because, if hospitals and meds supply are guaranteed by the government, the level of public
health
Use synonyms
 will increase and, if not, the poorest
people
Use synonyms
 will have difficulties getting the cures they need. In order to improve the
health
Use synonyms
 of the citizens, the public authority should heavily fund the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 system. It is trivial to say that, without the proper resources, it would not run efficiently because of the lack of doctors, facilities and medical goods.
For example
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, in countries where hospitals are greatly subsidized,
such
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 as Norway,
people
Use synonyms
 have access to their services for a price which is many times lower than in other nations. Private
healthcare
Use synonyms
 can be considered a form of discrimination against low-income families. Indeed, having to pay high prices can make many
people
Use synonyms
 refuse to cure themselves, which is very detrimental to them.
On the other hand
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, we know that, as proven by famous
health
Use synonyms
 economics studies,
such
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 as those conducted by Kenneth Arrow, private
healthcare
Use synonyms
 systems have a tendency to not reach efficiency because of structural market failures. Proof of
that is
Linking Words
 the United States, where many
people
Use synonyms
 cannot afford expensive medical treatments. Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that being
healthcare
Use synonyms
 a necessity for everyone, and it should be guaranteed by the government.
This
Linking Words
 essay has discussed that, since
such
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 an action by the government is beneficial for public
health
Use synonyms
 and the rightfulness of society,
this
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 argument should be considered to be a very strong and consistent one.
Submitted by giordansamuele on

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Task Achievement
Though your essay provided a strong argument, try to delve deeper into counterarguments to show a more balanced view. This could enhance your task achievement by demonstrating an understanding of both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your logical structure is clear, but consider using a wider variety of connective phrases to link ideas more smoothly and add to your coherence. This will also make your essay flow better and improve reader understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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