IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
Nowadays, some people argue that all
experimention
Correct your spelling
experimentation
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
animals
 is bad and should be outlawed.
However
, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. I agree that we should not use
Add an article
an animal
the animal
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 in the name of science. In my essay, I will present arguments
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 topic. First of all, we use
animals
 to test a lot of products like food, cosmetics,
medicines
Correct word choice
and medicines
show examples
. People have to check if something will not have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 impact on
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 health and live. We do that because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
 have similar
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
show examples
 to people. Because of the
experimentation
Add a comma
,experimentation
show examples
 we can predict
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of using some products.
However
,
this
 process for
animals
 is very harmful. They often die in pain.
Also
, the conditions of their life are bad. They have small cages, no fresh water, and
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough food.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 all creatures on
planet
Add an article
the planet
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 need love and in
Correct article usage
the laboratory
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laboratory
Add a comma
,laboratory
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 nobody
care
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cares
show examples
 about them.
That is
 the reason why we should stop
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
experimentations
Replace the word
experiments
show examples
 on
animals
.
Secondly
,
world
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the world
show examples
 is more and more
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
. We start use computers in a lot of
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. I am sure that we can
also
 check
safety
Add an article
the safety
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 of new staff
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 technology. Scientists invent
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
robots which are very similar to humans. Why not take advantage of robots in
laboratory
Add an article
the laboratory
a laboratory
show examples
?
To sum up
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
show examples
 scientists should not
based
Change the verb form
base
be based
show examples
on
Correct pronoun usage
their on
show examples
animals
 at all. We live in high
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 society and we should trade on technology. Our duty is
care
Change the verb form
to care
caring
show examples
 about others creatures. Painful of
animals
 is not justified. We should stop
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 that.
Submitted by justyna.szyszka98 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
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