IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
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Nowadays, some people argue that all
experimention
Correct your spelling
experimentation
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 is bad and should be outlawed.
However
Linking Words
, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. I agree that we should not use
Add an article
an animal
the animal
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 in the name of science. In my essay, I will present arguments
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 topic. First of all, we use
animals
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 to test a lot of products like food, cosmetics,
medicines
Correct word choice
and medicines
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. People have to check if something will not have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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 impact on
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 health and live. We do that because
,
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apply
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 some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 have similar
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
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 to people. Because of the
experimentation
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,experimentation
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 we can predict
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 of using some products.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 process for
animals
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 is very harmful. They often die in pain.
Also
Linking Words
, the conditions of their life are bad. They have small cages, no fresh water, and
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 enough food.
Linking Words
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 all creatures on
planet
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the planet
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 need love and in
Correct article usage
the laboratory
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laboratory
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,laboratory
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 nobody
care
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cares
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 about them.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason why we should stop
do
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doing
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experimentations
Replace the word
experiments
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 on
animals
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.
Secondly
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,
world
Add an article
the world
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 is more and more
develop
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developed
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. We start use computers in a lot of
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. I am sure that we can
also
Linking Words
 check
safety
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the safety
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 of new staff
by
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with
show examples
 technology. Scientists invent
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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robots which are very similar to humans. Why not take advantage of robots in
laboratory
Add an article
the laboratory
a laboratory
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?
To sum up
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, in my
opinion
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,opinion
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 scientists should not
based
Change the verb form
base
be based
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on
Correct pronoun usage
their on
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 at all. We live in high
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 society and we should trade on technology. Our duty is
care
Change the verb form
to care
caring
show examples
 about others creatures. Painful of
animals
Use synonyms
 is not justified. We should stop
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 that.
Submitted by justyna.szyszka98 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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