IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Nowadays some older people choose to live in retirement communities and centers with other people, rather than living with their adult children. Is this a positive or negative development?

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It is considered that nowadays many elderly
people
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 tend to stay at old aged
homes
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 but not with their children.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both, the negative and positive outcomes of
this
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 trend. As far as I am concerned with the latter notion.
To begin
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 with, Why do some dotage
people
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 prefer to move into
retirement
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 communities centres? The predominant reason is that they can have a number of facilities which are necessary for an old aged individual. To explain it, In many old aged
homes
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 provide the needful equipment which is necessary for the disabled person for his daily routines
such
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 as an elevator, Stairlift etcetera.
This
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 kinds of equipment are not simply found in many general families'
homes
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.
For example
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, As per the Survey conducted on
retirement
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homes
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 by the BBC ( British Broadcasting Corporation) in London in 2009, found that 80% of the
people
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 were concerned about their health issues and the lack of equipment in their own houses.
Therefore
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, Living in an old home at a later age is beneficial and can live a long
life
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.
Further
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 strengthening the view, the second main reason which could be to find similar age
people
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 which can help them avoid boredom. To articulate it, After getting
retirement
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, It could not be possible to get in touch with their
friends
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 on a daily basis which can lead them to weariness.
However
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, moving to these centres
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can eliminate all the sadness by not only meeting old
friends
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 but
also
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 getting a chance to meet new
people
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 and can do some recreational activities by assembling a
life
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-long experience.
For instance
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, The article showed up in the newspaper "The Guardian" in 2012 evident how one of the
retirement
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 houses made a bike which can move without any fuel but on a solar system by using an individual's different
life
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 experiences.
On the other hand
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, Elderly
people
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 could be missing the love of their own children and missing the hugs of grandchildren. Living in the centres could be joyful and can spend the rest of your
life
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 with childhood
friends
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 living in a
retirement
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 house could be stressful by missing family, there could be many positive developments in living
homes
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due to
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 being equipped with all the necessary facilities and meeting their
friends
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 to enjoy reviving some
life
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 experiences.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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