IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that it is acceptable to test medicine intended for people on animals. Others, however, believe that it is not right to use animals in this research. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #test #medicine #animals #right #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that testing medicaments for
people
Use synonyms
 on
animals
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a good idea, but others disagree with it. In my opinion, it is not
correct
Correct article usage
the correct
show examples
 decision to use
animals
Use synonyms
 in these
experiments
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are convinced that checking
people
Use synonyms
’s medicine on
animals
Use synonyms
 is a good way to discover drugs’ side effects and
then
Linking Words
 make them better.
For example
Linking Words
, many
experiments
Use synonyms
 are carried out on pregnant rats to find out how their organisms react to different drugs. Through test results, researchers change the composition of medicine or duration of treatment. It can help with medications for pregnant women and decrease negative effects on their bodies or the fetus. Others are against the participation of
animals
Use synonyms
 in medical trials because results
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
found
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from these researches may be incorrect and
also
Linking Words
 threatened, because we have different organisms from
animals
Use synonyms
 and our reaction
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these medicaments can be opposite and really dangerous for our bodies
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, these researches are
Use synonyms
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 abuse.
Animals
Use synonyms
 are in pain or they become dead after some
experiments
Use synonyms
. Humans try to protect them from
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 and they go to rallies and write petitions to the government. I completely agree that
this
Linking Words
 method when researchers use
animals
Use synonyms
 and put them in danger isn’t humane. I believe that researchers can find another way to make their
experiments
Use synonyms
 and everybody needs to take care of
animals
Use synonyms
 and preserve them
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
safety
Replace the word
safely
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some groups of
people
Use synonyms
 don’t see a problem when
medicine
Add an article
the medicine
a medicine
show examples
 is checked on
animals
Use synonyms
, I think it is horrible to use them in
these researches
Fix the agreement mistake
this research
show examples
 putting them in danger.
Submitted by p.zhukova89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: