Some individuals say that mobile is unnecessary for young group over other things that it's useful for young ones discuss both views and give your opinion

#individuals #group #ones

In the past two decades, there has been an exponential increase in the number of young

people

use

Correct pronoun usage

who use

show examples

smartphone

. Some part of society

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that

phones

are unnecessary for

young

Add an article

the young

a young

show examples

group,

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other thinks that a

smarthone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

smart phone

could help the younger

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Add an article

the study

show examples

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and

socialize

Wrong verb form

socialising

show examples

with their peers. Despite those

believes

Replace the word

beliefs

show examples

, I think mobile devices are not really useful for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

younger and could lead them to addiction.

To begin

people

believe that

provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

a smartphones

Correct the article-noun agreement

smartphones

a smartphone

show examples

for

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

younger

people

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

unnecessary

due to

the dangerous adult

content

that could poping-up on the

phones

. In

this

cutting-edge technology era, many

Change to a plural noun

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
65Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

419 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some individuals say that mobile is unnecessary for young group over other things that it's useful for young ones discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that only a few wild animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

recently published figures show that the wildlife population around the world decreased by around fifty per cent over the last fifty years. what can we do to help protect the wildfire round the world?