More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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related
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is related

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to
overweight
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being overweight

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. It is observed that more and more teenagers are dealing with
outweight
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overweight

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problems in modern countries. There are reasons contributing to
this
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phenomenon.
Also
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, there are impacts regarding
to
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apply

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this
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incident which I will discuss in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, there are two main reasons that we may mention. The first cause is related to fast-food.
In other words
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, in
partitular
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particular

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, school
children
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eat so
much
Correct quantifier usage
many

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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prepared
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals

It seems that meal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
As a result
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of
this
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situation, they are becoming overweight. The second reason is that
chindren
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children

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who do not do enough
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports

It seems that sport may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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exercises are getting
outweight
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overweight

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.
For example
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,
according to
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many studies, teens who eat food and do not do
inadequate
Replace the word
adequate

The word inadequate doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

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sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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activities, their brain
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions

It seems that function may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are
more
Change the word
apply

The double comparative more slower may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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slower than others.
Therefore
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, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply

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clear that parents should
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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protect their
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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Change preposition
from fast-food
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fast-food
Correct your spelling
fast food

The word fast-food doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and they encourage their
children
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do
Add the particle
to do

It appears that the verb do should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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different
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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activities.
Moreover
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, there are mentioned two main bad effects. The first and
the
Correct article usage
apply

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most
effect
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effective

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is that it leads to many
disaeses
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diseases

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such
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as blood pressure and heart-attack problem. The second impact is that it creates
Correct article usage
an unhealty
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unhealty
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unhealthy

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population.
As a result
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of
this
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contidion
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condition

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, new
genarations
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generations
generation

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might have to deal with many genetic
disaeses
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diseases

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.
For instance
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, in the USA citizens generally choose to eat
prepared
Add an article
a prepared

The noun phrase prepared meal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals

It seems that meal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, so most people face serious problems.
Hence
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,
goverments
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governments
government

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should protect their society to overcome
this
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problem. In conclusion,
children
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are getting
outweight
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overweight

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in
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern

The noun phrase modern age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age because of eating
fast-foods
Correct your spelling
fast foods

The word fast-foods doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and inadequate
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Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports

It seems that sport may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
exercises.
In addition
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to effects which are causing many
disaeses
Correct your spelling
diseases

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and
unhealty
Correct your spelling
unhealthy

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population. If
this
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problem continues, there will be harmful consequences for humanity.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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