IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some areas of the world, people prefer to live a traditional lifestyle, while in other regions, they follow a modern living standard. Why does this happen? Discuss both views and support your opinion.

In recent years, the issue of contrasting lifestyles across the world has sparked much debate. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that living a traditional
lifestyle
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 helps preserve cultural values and community ties,
however
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, others argue that adopting modern living standards provides better comfort and opportunities.
This
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 essay will explain why I believe that a balanced
lifestyle
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 combining both tradition and modernity is the most beneficial.
Firstly
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, many
people
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 continue to live traditionally because of strong cultural and religious beliefs.
This
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 is important because traditions are often tied to identity, family, and social structure. Not only does
this
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 help to maintain a strong community bond, but it
also
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 encourages respect for heritage and customs.
Moreover
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, in rural or less developed areas, modern resources may be unavailable, making traditional living a necessity. Many
people
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 think that traditional living holds
people
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 back from progress,
however
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,
this
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 viewpoint ignores the fact that traditions often offer emotional stability and social unity.
In addition
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,
people
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 in developed or urban areas prefer modern lifestyles
due to
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 technological advancement and personal freedom.
For instance
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, in Western countries or major cities, individuals use smart devices, have access to quality education, and live independently.
Consequently
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,
this
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 leads to better job prospects, healthcare access, and improved living standards. Opponents claim that modern living weakens social connections,
however
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,
this
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 fails to consider that technology can
also
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 help
people
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 stay connected and informed.
Therefore
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, the advantages of combining useful aspects of modern life with traditional values clearly outweigh choosing only one
lifestyle
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.
To sum up
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, the topic of traditional versus modern lifestyles has both advantages and disadvantages.
However
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, the benefits of balancing both not only outweigh the drawbacks but
also
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 offer greater opportunities for personal growth and cultural preservation.
Overall
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, I strongly believe that
people
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 should adopt a flexible
lifestyle
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 that respects tradition
while
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 embracing modern development.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your view and is structured well, but try to include a stronger hook to engage the reader right from the start.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points about tradition and modernity. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes, points can seem a bit mixed. A clearer focus could help with your overall argument.
task achievement
You have articulated the benefits of combining both lifestyles well, showing a balanced view which is important in this discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your ideas and reiterates your opinion, which helps reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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