You can not everyone in the world that needs help,so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#world #communities #countries

Some

people

argue that we are not responsible

helpings

Change preposition

for helpings

show examples

other

people

and

the

Correct word choice

that the

show examples

only thing we should be worried about it is our own society. I completely disagree with

this

view because I believe every

lives

Change to a singular noun

life

show examples

matter and

moreover

, trying to solve other

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

show examples

problems can enhance the communication between them.

Change the capitalization

show examples

take the view that there is no difference between any of us and we cannot separate

people

just because of their region. we must help

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every single person who needs to

be support

Change the verb form

support

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it is noticeable that all

people

are the same and we all feel

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pain in the same way

thus

it is an unethical thing to subordinate our own society to other

people

. It is important and necessary to help others as much as we can. Many

people

dont

Correct your spelling

do not

have their first needs in other parts of the world and we can not

denied

Change the verb form

deny

be denied

show examples

their pain

cause

Correct word choice

because

show examples

we are all humans and we feel the same. The other reason is that

countries

need to have good communication with each other so when a country

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is in an emergency situation it is a wise thing to help them and solve their problem as much as we can.

people

in every

countries

Change to a singular noun

country

show examples

should be with each other and be concerned about the issues which

people

might have in difficult periods of time and without any

doubt

Add a comma

,doubt

show examples

it would increase the amount of friendship and

dicrease

Correct your spelling

decrease

the number of wars between governments and societies.

To sum up

, it is unacceptable to be just concerned about our own society because of the fact that all

the

Change the word

our

show examples

lives are important and the same, and there should be a good relationship between

countries

by helping each other.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Feb 12 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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You can not everyone in the world that needs help,so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year'; before they begin workor university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •describe the vacation spot you have chosen •explain how you plan to spend your time there •invite your friend to join you on your vacation Begin your letter as follows: Dear….