You can not everyone in the world that needs help,so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that we are not responsible
helpings
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for helpings
show examples
other
people
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and
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
only thing we should be worried about it is our own society. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
view because I believe every
lives
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life
show examples
matter and
moreover
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, trying to solve other
Use synonyms
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
problems can enhance the communication between them.
i
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I
show examples
take the view that there is no difference between any of us and we cannot separate
people
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just because of their region. we must help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every single person who needs to
be support
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support
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it is noticeable that all
people
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are the same and we all feel
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pain in the same way
thus
Linking Words
it is an unethical thing to subordinate our own society to other
people
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. It is important and necessary to help others as much as we can. Many
people
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dont
Correct your spelling
do not
have their first needs in other parts of the world and we can not
denied
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deny
be denied
show examples
their pain
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
we are all humans and we feel the same. The other reason is that
countries
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need to have good communication with each other so when a country
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is in an emergency situation it is a wise thing to help them and solve their problem as much as we can.
people
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in every
Use synonyms
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
should be with each other and be concerned about the issues which
people
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might have in difficult periods of time and without any
doubt
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,doubt
show examples
it would increase the amount of friendship and
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
the number of wars between governments and societies.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is unacceptable to be just concerned about our own society because of the fact that all
the
Change the word
our
show examples
lives are important and the same, and there should be a good relationship between
countries
Use synonyms
by helping each other.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global interconnectivity
  • international cooperation
  • ethics
  • moral obligation
  • geographical borders
  • diplomatic relations
  • economic stability
  • global security
  • resource allocation
  • expertise
  • international aid
  • dependency and development
  • sustainable solutions
  • local and global initiatives
  • community resilience
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