IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
Presently, many people prefer to
work
 on their own and have themselves businesses, and a few people prefer to
work
 for a corporation. In my opinion, the major reason that causes
this
 situation is a sense of dissatisfaction among the staff of the company. Meanwhile,
this
 choice will cause some drawbacks that will express in
this
 essay. Recently,
due to
 a decrease in the level of satisfaction of
employees
, they are trying to start a new
business
that is
 dependent on themselves.
Although
 the companies supply some facilities for their staff, there is not a direct relation between the amount of
work
 and the gaining.
Therefore
, the enthusiasm of the staff is destroyed.
For example
, many
employees
 imagine a
business
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 if they
work
 hard, they will earn more money.
Accordingly
, they admit the risk of starting a self-employed
business
.
As a result
, they abandon the holdings. Needless to say,
this
 decision has some detriments for
employees
. Particularly, if they did not acquire advanced skills, there will be a potential to be losers.
In addition
, dealing with failures as an unskilled individual is more difficult in comparison with being a part of a company.
For instance
, a man who does not have any information about food, if he establishes his restaurant, failure is possible and dealing with it on his own is so difficult.
To sum up
,
due to
 the fact that
employees
 are not satisfied with companies, they prefer to start their own
business
, which if they do not have enough information about that,
this
 choice will cause some problems for them.
Submitted by ebrahimisara1369 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
What to do next:
Look at other essays: