IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that printed books are no longer necessary in this digital era as all writing can be stored electronically. Others think that printed books still play important roles. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the digital era, some
people
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 read and write something on their gadgets or tablets because it brings a lot of benefits.
However
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, others say that printed
books
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 feel more real and effective to be used. In
this
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 essay, I will go into both views and explain why I feel traditional
books
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 are still necessary and play important roles.
To begin
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 with, in the internet
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
people
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 will
use
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 their phones or
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
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 to do almost their all activities. Technology brings a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 advantages to make
people
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’s life easier.
People
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 can read a
book
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 through their phones anytime and anywhere. It feels more effective and efficient when we can open a
book
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 just with one touch.
Furthermore
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, e-
books
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 will support our environment clean and eco-friendly.
For instance
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,
people
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 can read a
book
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 online
while
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 they are on public transportation or just check some important information in their bookmarks.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 still
use
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 traditional
books
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 when they have to read something.
The paper
Correct article usage
Paper
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Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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brings
Verb problem
play
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 important roles in our lives because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 more real than a traditional
book
Use synonyms
. Other than that, some
people
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 think it is important to read traditional
books
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 to get genuine knowledge.
For example
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, for
kindergarten
Add a comma
kindergarten,
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 it is important to
use
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 printed
books
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 as tools for the teaching process. Children can see colour, shape, and size, so they can visualize in their minds.
Thus
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, it is essential for children to cope
this
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 with. In conclusion, both digital
books
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 and printed
books
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 are necessary for
people
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. We have to
use
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 them to maximize their own advantages.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you're fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure both views are comprehensively discussed with equal attention. Consider elaborating on your personal perspective slightly more.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical progression of ideas. Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and help the essay flow logically from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear opinion on it, ensuring there is an introduction and conclusion to frame the discussion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the use of printed books for children's education, support the main points and show a practical understanding of the topic.
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