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Band 2.5

Some people live to work, and others work to live. In most cases, this depends on the job they have and the conditions under which they are employed. In your opinion, what are the elements that make a job worthwhile?

#people #work #cases #job #conditions #elements
Doing a job is mandatory in daily living to run the family peacefully.
This
 responsibility is more on the whole breadwinner rather than a dual-income family. Some public
live-to-work
Correct your spelling
live to work
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, and others
work-to-live
Correct your spelling
work to live
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. People who only consider the work make tremendous efforts on the job to promote their company or office without much considering the family. They spend a lot of time at the workplace and focused more on earning.
Therefore
, they lose the work-life
balance
, which can cause more stress. Meanwhile, those who
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 a job to live maintain a very good
balance
 between work and life which leads them to be happy and stress-free. They enjoy life with family and friends, they go on trips and spend money to enjoy life. As they are happy and stress-free, their efforts at
Correct article usage
the work-place
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work-place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 are more efficient.
Therefore
, they earn more credit and work happily.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 would like o a maintlive-to-workork-life
balance
 the type of jobs and the situation are not allowing everyone to do so. Not only the financial crisis of the country but
also
 socio-economic background, physical and social needs and the number of dependents influence the work-life
balance
.
Moreover
, the personal attitude of people towards money
also
 contributes to
this
 work-to-live or live-to-work phenome
Submitted by nusairmsm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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