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Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organisation To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organisation
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In
this
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 day and age, an amalgamation of various cultures is proliferating. There are many who suggest that the most appropriate way to understand different cultural traditions is to have a job at a multinational corporation.
However
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, I personally disagree with
this
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 statement and will put forward my views in the below paragraphs. Certainly, working in a large organization will provide immense exposure to
meet
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people from different religions, castes and states. As the friendship develops among the staff members so will their interest in traditions being followed by their friends will
also
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 enhance.
For instance
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, at my workplace, 50% of the population belongs to the Maharastra region, so I have acquired a great deal of knowledge regarding their cooking methods, way of living and how they organize their functions.
Nevertheless
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, it would be unjust to say that
this
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 is the best way and there are no other ways to understand any culture. In my opinion, the most significant method would be to stay in a diverse neighbourhood. At the workplace, certain limitations will not allow each individual to make lots of friends.
However
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 is not the case when you are living in the company of neighbours. Talking to someone living next door, whom you meet every day, is always convenient.
In addition
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, urbanization has coerced people to coalesce. People from all over the place, come together and live in a society where they can celebrate occasions, help each other and not fail to show unity despite belonging to a different cast and creeds. In conclusion, it is evident that there are other ways to know about various cultures like staying in a diversified locality
instead
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 of just making a few professional relationships at work.
Submitted by sweety on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using a more varied and complex sentence structure to enhance logical flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that bookend your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed and developed examples for improved clarity.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, making sure your position is clear throughout the essay.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly to provide a comprehensive response to the question.
task achievement
Include more relevant examples to support your arguments and illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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