Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
neoteric era, more and more people are connected with each other through social media platforms.
Therefore
, humans hold different opinions about whether we are more dependent on each other or have become more individualistic. I would argue that as the world is becoming more developed people are less likely to be dependent on others. On the one hand, it is generally believed that there are several possible reasons why human beings feel that they are not self-sufficient.
Firstly
, as users of social networking websites are dramatically increasing in number, it is reasonable to say that people are more likely to get the desire for social connection and belonging which can drive the anxiety known as fear of missing out.
Thus
, they are not aware of being dependent on celebrities' lives on streaming platforms.
Secondly
, with the high cost of living, youngsters need guardians like parents in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to ensure their food, money, and shelter.
On the other hand
, I believe that the developments of technology can greatly contribute to the reduction of
this
feeling and situation. One clear explanation is that
due to
these improvements, humans,
in particular
, the younger generation
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a proclivity to work themselves online and stand on their feet to be
financial freedom
Replace the word
financially free
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from their parents.
Hence
, it leads to being more self-supporting and escaping some difficulties
as well as
discomforts in their both personal life and career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
.
In addition
, it is generally acknowledged that in
this
contemporary era, human beings are more caring and devote a great amount of time to themselves. In conclusion, it is true that society is dependent on each other for basic necessities and maintaining social relationships.
However
, I concur with the supporters of the statement that we are actually self-sustaining over the
last
few years.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both views, but the opinion is not clearly stated. It would be beneficial to include a clear stance and provide more balanced arguments for and against each view.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is generally clear, but there are opportunities to improve the organization of the ideas. Focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and providing clear topic sentences to guide the reader through the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdependence
  • globalization
  • technological advancements
  • collective action
  • digital evolution
  • minimal reliance
  • direct interaction
  • empowered
  • access to technology
  • societal expectations
  • personal choice
  • leverage
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