IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation in many major urban centers around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

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In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years, major cities have seen an influx of people from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural areas. Recent studies of 2021
shows
Change the verb form
show
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, in search
for
Change preposition
of
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 a better life, year-on-year people
leaving
Wrong verb form
leave
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 their dwellings and relocate to major cities across India. It is crucial to understand why
this
Linking Words
 has happened and try to rectify the problem.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
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 following paragraphs will focus on these issues. The major contributor to
this
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 inflow is the economic and infrastructure in-balance between the urban and rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. As there are fewer job opportunities in
the
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apply
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underdeveloped areas it has a direct impact on
an
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a
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persons
Change noun form
person's
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 livelihood.
Such
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 scenarios force people to leave their families and relocate to
city
Correct article usage
the city
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in-search
Correct your spelling
in search
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 of
better
Add an article
a better
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 income. The study highlights, since 2001, every year there is a 53% surge
of
Change preposition
in
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 population in Bombay, India.
This
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 influx places tremendous pressure on the city’s infrastructure,
health
Correct word choice
and health
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 care system and
also
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 results in
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 cost of living. In the wake to control
this
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 exponential inflow in metropolitan like Bombay, the Maharashtra state government needs to act immediately. The local authorities need to encourage, major
industrialist
Fix the agreement mistake
industrialists
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 to
set-up
Correct your spelling
set up
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 mega factories in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural areas and incentivise them by allocating grants.
This
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 will not only create job opportunities,
generate
Correct word choice
and generate
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 a source of livelihood, but
also
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 improve their standard of living.
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Such
Add an article
The such
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 transition will aid infrastructures like healthcare, telecommunication and other
small time
Add a hyphen
small-time
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 business to flourish.
To conclude
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, there are other various factors contributing to the issue. But, I believe, it needs to start somewhere. By implementing these measures the current issue can be addressed and can avoid
from
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apply
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further
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declining
Replace the word
decline
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Migration
  • Sustainable development
  • Infrastructure
  • Population density
  • Urban sprawl
  • Urban planning
  • Renewable energy
  • Family planning
  • Rural economies
  • Public transport
  • Living standards
  • Healthcare access
  • Educational facilities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Regulations
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