The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph presents how the highest cellular phone brand income changed over a period of 5 years, between 2009 and 2013. At a glance, there are a number of trends for each of the varieties. Samsung and Nokia are leading the chart sales by being the most purchased phone over three separate years.

Firstly

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, Samsung experienced a gradual increase from nearly 250 figures to 450 figures in the year of 2009 until 2013.

Moreover

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, Apple and ZTE

also

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presented significant growth reaching a peak in 2013 of 150 and approximately 60, respectively.

On the other hand

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, Nokia's customers abruptly dipped by nearly half the proportion from just over 400 became 250 in 2013.

Furthermore

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, the same trend

also

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happened to LG where the proportion of buyers fell gradually in a half-decade from more than 100 individuals to 75 persons.

Additionally

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this

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showed that over the year people were not interested in buying smartphones by these two particular lines.

Submitted by regina.christella7 on Tue Feb 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

159 words

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The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Rich Countries often give money to poorer countries but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than Financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries face the problem of low voter turnout in their democratic elections. What are the problems associated with it and suggest solutions?

OPIC: In recent years, the family structure and the role of its members are gradually changing. What kinds of changes can occur? Do you think these changes are positive and negative?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child’s development as other subject, so it should be compulsory inhigh schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?