The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar graph presents how the highest cellular phone brand income changed over a period of 5 years, between 2009 and 2013. At a glance, there are a number of trends for each of the varieties. Samsung and Nokia are leading the chart sales by being the most purchased phone over three separate years.

Firstly

, Samsung experienced a gradual increase from nearly 250 figures to 450 figures in the year of 2009 until 2013.

Moreover

, Apple and ZTE

also

presented significant growth reaching a peak in 2013 of 150 and approximately 60, respectively.

On the other hand

, Nokia's customers abruptly dipped by nearly half the proportion from just over 400 became 250 in 2013.

Furthermore

, the same trend

also

happened to LG where the proportion of buyers fell gradually in a half-decade from more than 100 individuals to 75 persons.

Additionally

this

showed that over the year people were not interested in buying smartphones by these two particular lines.

Submitted by regina.christella7 on Tue Feb 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "presents" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The resroration of old buidings in major cities around the world costs enormous amounts of money. this money would be better spent on new housing and road development .to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement