Too much emphasis is placed on going to university for academic education. People should be incouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Higher
education
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has become an integral requirement for school
leavers’s
Remove the s
leavers’
show examples
future jobs over the decades. Unluckily,
people
Use synonyms
are biased towards academic
education
Use synonyms
than vocational
traing
Correct your spelling
training
while
Linking Words
they both take important roles in our life. From my perspective, I agree that we should encourage
people
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to choose vocational training for reasons. Each profession has different educational requirements.
For some
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Some
show examples
special industries namely medical,
contruction
Correct your spelling
construction
, needs employees
to
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apply
show examples
have certain academic qualifications that the reason why university often takes longer than
voccational
Correct your spelling
vocational
traing
Correct your spelling
training
trading
trying
.
However
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, degrees are not essential for every
jobs
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job
show examples
such
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as stylist, interior organizer,
Correct word choice
and electricians
show examples
electricians
Fix the agreement mistake
electrician
show examples
,
theory
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and theory
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not needed as
practicalin
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practical in
practising
practical
those cases, and vocational skills become the best choice for future
workers
Use synonyms
. If
people
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put vocational training and academic
study
Use synonyms
on a
finance
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financial
show examples
scale,
it is clear that
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vocational
study
Use synonyms
,
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apply
show examples
is
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
than academic
education
Use synonyms
. Particularly with some of the
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
like plumbers, electricians,
builder
Fix the agreement mistake
builders
show examples
,
welder
Fix the agreement mistake
welders
show examples
,
factory
Correct word choice
and factory
show examples
worker
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workers
show examples
, …
workers
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can have many job
oppertunities
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opportunities
after 6 months to a year
courses
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of courses
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
Add an article
the market
show examples
market
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market's
show examples
lacks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
qualified
workers
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lead to
emergency
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an emergency
show examples
situation
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
not be
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
.
Eventualy
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Eventually
,
citizens
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citizens'
citizen's
show examples
life becomes
inconvienient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
and
other
Add a missing verb
have other
show examples
consequences. One of the biggest
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why
people
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don’t choose vocational training ,
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
of the stereotype that qualified
trade
Correct your spelling
tradespeople
show examples
people
Use synonyms
might not have
high
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a high
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
as
white-colar
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white-collar
workers
Use synonyms
. In fact, not all employees, who studied with academic
education
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have better income
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
people
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graduated
Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
show examples
with vocational skills.
For example
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, a coder who just
need
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needs
show examples
four to six month to
study
Use synonyms
and practise at
bootcamp
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boot camp
can easily apply for a big technology.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
language students often feel
that is
Linking Words
really hard to find a good
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
their major. With
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
and lack of job offers, it seems like languages are not suitable for everyone. In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, vocational training is an option
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be considered by leavers. With
affordable
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the affordable
show examples
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
and
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
show examples
study
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
form of
education
Use synonyms
is a great selection for
future
Add an article
a future
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
.
Submitted by pierre-vandenberg on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vocational training
  • Skilled tradespeople
  • Job market
  • Financial burden
  • Traditional four-year university
  • Local economy
  • Stigma
  • Subsidies
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Mainstream education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: