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Band 7

In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success
People
 do have different opinions about how to achieve the successful, some think that
equality
 in the workplace or in every part of life is paramount,
while
 others argue that
this
 is not really essential. I personally believe that
equality
 are matter that I will discuss
further
 in the essay.
To begin
, there are many reasons why
equality
 is essential. The first stronger one is more chances.
This
 is particularly important because no matter the age, social status, region, and gender
people
 are, they do have a chance to get a job or change to develop their skills.
For instance
,
people
 in Indonesia nowadays, especially more females play an important role in big companies and in politics,
this
 is a good improvement compared to the past.
Furthermore
,
this
 change is not only good for females successful in their careers but
also
 could help inspire other females to do the same. The other related reason for
equality
 that gives more chances to gain success is more
ideas
. In the other words, those who work with different
people
 and backgrounds could easily solve the problems. To illustrate, a company that hires
people
 from several places
such
 as urban cities, sub-urban, and remote areas,
this
 company will obtain more
ideas
for instance
 how to gain profit from different places, because they have their own regional representative.
Thus
, having more
people
 from different backgrounds could
also
 gain more
ideas
 and more importantly again successful. In conclusion, even though,
people
 have several viewports about
equality
 in order to elevate personal success, I do believe that
equality
 is essential
due to
 getting more chances and
ideas
 to access the successful.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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