IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some say sports facilities are important they promote healthy lifestyle. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #sports #facilities #lifestyle
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Some people argue that exercise facilities may bring different generations both mental and physical benefits as a whole. I completely agree as explained below. First and foremost,
while
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 an increasing number of people were forced to stay inside and stuck at home during the pandemic, recreation centres
such
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 as tennis courts gave a
helpful
Replace the word
helping
show examples
 hand to the public who has already retired from a company as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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full-time employee.
For instance
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, elderly residents in my apartment started to play tennis in a compound situated within walking distance from my flat, mainly because they were not only seeking an alternative place in order to connect with someone and bond with the local communities but
also
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 holding some frustration in
this
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 technological-paced life.
As a result
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, most older people became acquainted with newcomers
as well as
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 relieved stress caused by a lack of daily activities.
Thus
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, it seems that more senior citizens were able to make a better life.
Secondly
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, younger generations would benefit from indoor facilities
such
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 as swimming pools and gyms, primarily because children were more vulnerable to COVID-19.
Although
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 these sports training centres sometimes tended to be restricted by the government, they could provide kids with a great opportunity to focus on their physical pieces of training.
According to
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 research, a growing number of pupils would maintain their mental health, encouraging them to move their bodies rather than just watching a screen on devices all the time.
To conclude
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, I firmly believe that playing any sports played a crucial role in all ages and
then
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such
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 vital places will function as a core of society.
Submitted by flower84 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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