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Band 5.5

Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #pressure #society
There is no doubt that
children
 are under observation for better planning in the nascent world overview.
Wheareas
Correct your spelling
Whereas
,
although
 modernism may show some of these traits,
this
 is not a new phenomenon as it is only reasonable up to a point.
To begin
 with, it is important to acknowledge that
children
 are the reflection of a more intense lifestyle in the present situation.
this
 is
due to
 the fact that competition is the new norm in any case of everyday life.
For example
, from the early year, they have developed a mindset to follow rules like behaving gently
then
 force to attend a preschool which eventually creates more pressure and various psychological disorders. if parents willingly focus on the fitness of their
children
 rather than challenges from
the
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apply
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society they could have garnered more positivity in future than the environment and situation encouraging the guardian to take necessary steps as fast as possible leaving with a more structured and planned life for their
children
.
As a result
, those who envisioned mastering
on
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apply
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their passion
that
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apply
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would have
been
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come after pursuing their education will disappear.
Nevertheless
, there are often limits
in
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to
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 how much we are discovering when it comes to measuring the pressure of
a
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an
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 adolescent.
This
 is because we are on the verge of technology and flexibility that makes it even possible to outperform in any activities without leaving our comfort zone. It is often said that science made
a
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new room for performing a task from homework to assignment in the workplace in a minimal time period with an excessive amount of information available online, any mentor can encourage them to use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 practical life to make additional time for family and to exercise brain power in extra sports activities.
In contrast
, it is more than possible that
such
 could be overloaded if there was not any invention it will more likely produce the feeling of dissatisfaction, the catalyst of unavoidable diseases and curtail happiness more importantly concomitant to
less
Correct article usage
the less
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 affluent in the journey.
To conclude
, it is not too hard to fathom that
children
 are under various pressure from
modern-day
Correct article usage
a modern-day
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 perspective
although
, In my opinion, there is a danger of being misled if we rely on
this
 method of assessment all the time.
Submitted by didar047 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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