In many countries children are enganged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable experiences, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

#countries #children #kinds #work #people #experiences #responsibility

In the past two decades, there has been an exponential development in people’s perspectives on

children

who work. Some people believe that letting

children

work is a mistake,

while

others think that working experiences will provide many merits for

children

’s development. In my opinion, by experiencing a paid-work,

children

will get two main benefits which are earning their own money and gaining valuable experiences.

To begin

, salaries from a paid-work could help

children

to fulfil their needs. Since most of the

children

are students, they have numerous expenditures for school activities.

For instance

, when pupils need some new books after a summer holiday, they can pay the bill by themselves.

Furthermore

, with their personal saving, they

also

could buy their non-study needs,

such

as a bike and an earphone.

Hence

, by working and getting salaries,

children

could pay for their personal expenses.

Nevertheless

, some societies believe that engaging

children

is ineffective since they are not professionals yet. A case in point is that occupying

children

who have limited experiences will create hurdles which could hinder the working process. Notwithstanding

this

statement, I believe that during their work period, youngsters may get a chance to learn various lessons which could assist them to become professional workers someday.

Thus

, compared to other

children

who are not working, youth who have working experience could get a plus point in the future. On the basis of these statements, it can be concluded that

although

occupying

children

might be ineffective, I believe that

this

opportunity will give the youth several benefits. During their working period, adolescents may be able to make money and gain experience. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that government pass a specific regulation in order to uplift the effectiveness of occupying

children

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Feb 15 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries children are enganged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable experiences, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites?

Should we invent a new language for people from different countries to use for the international communication? Do you think there are more benefits or more problems with it? Explain.