In many countries children are enganged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable experiences, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

#countries #children #kinds #work #people #experiences #responsibility

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In the past two decades, there has been an exponential development in people’s perspectives on

children

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who work. Some people believe that letting

children

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work is a mistake,

while

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others think that working experiences will provide many merits for

children

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’s development. In my opinion, by experiencing a paid-work,

children

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will get two main benefits which are earning their own money and gaining valuable experiences.

To begin

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, salaries from a paid-work could help

children

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to fulfil their needs. Since most of the

children

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are students, they have numerous expenditures for school activities.

For instance

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, when pupils need some new books after a summer holiday, they can pay the bill by themselves.

Furthermore

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, with their personal saving, they

also

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could buy their non-study needs,

such

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as a bike and an earphone.

Hence

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, by working and getting salaries,

children

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could pay for their personal expenses.

Nevertheless

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, some societies believe that engaging

children

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is ineffective since they are not professionals yet. A case in point is that occupying

children

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who have limited experiences will create hurdles which could hinder the working process. Notwithstanding

this

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statement, I believe that during their work period, youngsters may get a chance to learn various lessons which could assist them to become professional workers someday.

Thus

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, compared to other

children

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who are not working, youth who have working experience could get a plus point in the future. On the basis of these statements, it can be concluded that

although

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occupying

children

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might be ineffective, I believe that

this

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opportunity will give the youth several benefits. During their working period, adolescents may be able to make money and gain experience. Given

this

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situation, it is recommended that government pass a specific regulation in order to uplift the effectiveness of occupying

children

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Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Feb 15 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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In many countries children are enganged in different kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable experiences, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this gap year?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved.

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments encourage businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions?