Crime is a big problem in the world: many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To wahat extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days,
crime
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is considered the most significant problem in the world. It is believed that it cannot be prevented by taking any measures.
This
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essay completely disagrees with the statement because
crime
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rates are reduced in many cities
due to
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the advent of technology and the introduction of rehabilitation programs .
This
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essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
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with, technology plays a crucial role in preventing crimes in the majority of cities.
That is
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to say that, inventions
such
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as surveillance cameras and network tracking systems are used to deter criminal activities that pose a severe threat to society.
For instance
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, a recent study shows that an average of 60% of kidnapping issues are resolved in the city of Chennai
due to
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the installation of
such
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cameras in every street, building and public place.
In addition
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,
such
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devices are very useful in determining minor offences
such
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as pickpockets and robberies.
Secondly
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, Network tracking systems have the ability to track all types of suspicious phone calls because telephones are the major source of communication.
consequently
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,
such
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devices have increased the safety and security of the locals.
Additionally
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, the government introduced rehabilitation programs to improve the living standards of offenders.
In other words
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,
such
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programs offer personal training and teach life skills to offenders which gives them an opportunity to reform their lives , and
also
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prevents them from committing
further
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offences after they are released.
In addition
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, it helps them to get
along with
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the community again by finding the right source to earn money without causing suffering to others.
For example
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, in India, a popular news channel tracked the lifestyle of some of the released lawbreakers to understand their lifestyle and they released a promising report that most of them are using the skills they have learned during their time in prison for something useful to make income. In conclusion, many people think that nothing can be done to prevent the ongoing
crime
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issues of the world. I do not agree with
this
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statement because it is evident that the recent technological inventions and the measures taken to educate prisoners have significantly reduced the
crime
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rates in many cities.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay is logically organized. Your ideas are somewhat coherent, but the logical flow between them can be improved. Aim to have a seamless progression from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Always include both an introduction and a conclusion. It is good that you have done this, but you could make your concluding paragraph more impactful by summarizing your main arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. You provided examples, but they could be more detailed and directly related to your arguments to strengthen them.
task achievement
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task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Your ideas are clear but could be more fully developed with additional support or analysis to express a more nuanced perspective.
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Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples you chose are relevant but providing more specifics or statistics could enhance the credibility of your arguments.
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