Crime is a big problem in the world: many believe that nothing can be done to prevent it. To wahat extent do you agree or disagree?

These days,
crime
is considered the most significant problem in the world. It is believed that it cannot be prevented by taking any measures.
This
essay completely disagrees with the statement because
crime
rates are reduced in many cities
due to
the advent of technology and the introduction of rehabilitation programs .
This
essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
To begin
with, technology plays a crucial role in preventing crimes in the majority of cities.
That is
to say that, inventions
such
as surveillance cameras and network tracking systems are used to deter criminal activities that pose a severe threat to society.
For instance
, a recent study shows that an average of 60% of kidnapping issues are resolved in the city of Chennai
due to
the installation of
such
cameras in every street, building and public place.
In addition
,
such
devices are very useful in determining minor offences
such
as pickpockets and robberies.
Secondly
, Network tracking systems have the ability to track all types of suspicious phone calls because telephones are the major source of communication.
consequently
,
such
devices have increased the safety and security of the locals.
Additionally
, the government introduced rehabilitation programs to improve the living standards of offenders.
In other words
,
such
programs offer personal training and teach life skills to offenders which gives them an opportunity to reform their lives , and
also
prevents them from committing
further
offences after they are released.
In addition
, it helps them to get
along with
the community again by finding the right source to earn money without causing suffering to others.
For example
, in India, a popular news channel tracked the lifestyle of some of the released lawbreakers to understand their lifestyle and they released a promising report that most of them are using the skills they have learned during their time in prison for something useful to make income. In conclusion, many people think that nothing can be done to prevent the ongoing
crime
issues of the world. I do not agree with
this
statement because it is evident that the recent technological inventions and the measures taken to educate prisoners have significantly reduced the
crime
rates in many cities.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay is logically organized. Your ideas are somewhat coherent, but the logical flow between them can be improved. Aim to have a seamless progression from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Always include both an introduction and a conclusion. It is good that you have done this, but you could make your concluding paragraph more impactful by summarizing your main arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or explanations. You provided examples, but they could be more detailed and directly related to your arguments to strengthen them.
task achievement
Ensure that you provide a complete response to the task, addressing all parts of the prompt. You have done well here, but don't hesitate to explore the topic even more thoroughly if the word count allows for it.
task achievement
Present clear and comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Your ideas are clear but could be more fully developed with additional support or analysis to express a more nuanced perspective.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples you chose are relevant but providing more specifics or statistics could enhance the credibility of your arguments.
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