IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

International tourism has become a huge industry the world. Do the problems of international tourism outweigh its advantage?

#tourism #industry #world #advantage
There is no denying the fact that the main purpose of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global exploration is debatable.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
interntational
Correct your spelling
international
 travel may benefit the industry worldwide. In
this
 essay, I will examine both views and give my own opinion. There are
people
 who argue that the benefits of global travel
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 industry considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
 is that global tourism might bring more monetary sources to the urban areas which could help them to develop and advance more.
For example
, when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 visit the
country
, they usually spend
a large amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large amount
large amounts
show examples
 of money.
Therefore
,
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 may use
this
 money to develop
another important sectors
Replace the adjective
another important sector
other important sectors
show examples
.
Thus
,
this
 makes it clear that international touristry might be more useful
tor
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 industry.
On the other hand
, others believe that global tourism might cause more harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
people
ofen
Correct your spelling
often
 argued that with the increasing numbers of the tourists,
country
 have become not save.
For instance
, a prestigious journal article published that the crime rates were higher in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
 that receives
a huge numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge number
huge numbers
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors. To illustrate, many
people
 may use the chance of travelling abroad in order to steal money from other
people
. Indeed, it becomes apparent that global tourism can negatively affect the
country
. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I strongly believe that global touristry might cause more demerits to the urban areas than merits.
This
 is because of increasing numbers of crime rates which might put public life
endanger
Change preposition
in endanger
show examples
.
Submitted by mgumssan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: