Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays, most

children

are busy playing video games on their smart devices.

This

essay focuses on the reasons for

this

particular behaviour and how it affects the child's

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

mental and physical condition in a negative way. The first reason that came to mind, is that the new technology is not only accessible but

also

easy to understand and work with. So comparing working or studying with playing video games or surfing the net,

it is clear that

there is no need for concentration or hard work when you are using technology.

In other words

, everyone enjoys working with their smartphones because it does not take a lot of energy, especially when we are talking about

children

Furthermore

, in comparison to playing a sport or playing an Xbox game, the Xbox game is definitely much more interesting than engaging in physical activity. Personally, I believe that these new devices have had a bad influence on our

children

due to

the following reasons.

Firstly

, it is a time-consuming activity,

for instance

, people do not notice the passing of minutes when they are surfing the net, so basically it is a waste of time.

Secondly

, in that case, they will not go around hanging out with their friends as they used to before, so they will become anti-social teenagers in the future.

In other words

, they will be lacking social skills.

Moreover

, not only it

harms

Wrong verb form

harm

show examples

their mental health, as mentioned earlier,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

harmful

Rephrase

also harmful

show examples

to their body,

for instance

, some experts claim that staring at the smart device's screen for long hours is damaging to the eyes.

In addition

, it may result in insomnia.

Lastly

, if it has a negative impact on

children

, it means that it is bad for society because in that ,case the future society will fail

due to

its irresponsible, lazy and unhealthy citizens. In conclusion, most

children

spend hours on their smartphones

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

several reasons. I am totally convinced that

this

is a negative development so the amount of time they use their phones should be limited by parents or guardians.

Submitted by Vaniatbt11 on Wed Feb 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph supports the main idea and follows a clear organizational structure. Use transition words and cohesive devices to connect ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task, provide a clear position, and support ideas with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure to fully develop each main point and consider both the positive and negative aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

346 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, with the development of technologies means that scientists are increasingly getting the chance to discover the universe and the government is ready to pay millions of dollars to do it. But some others think that instead of wasting money to explore the galaxy, authorities should pay attention to addressing the public's issues. In my opinion, I agree that the government should spend money to solve social problems.
6
band
People can eat a wide variety of food of other regions. As a result, they are eating a lot of foreign food instead of locally produced food. Do you think the advantages of eating foreign food are more than it harms? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples of your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most recent trends in today’s world is the upsurge in eating a lot of food from global cuisine rather than local food. There is a widespread belief that this is a popular subject of debate. In my perspective, it has more positive impacts than negative ones. In this essay, I will evaluate points based on my opinion.
7.5
band
Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some believe that an individual should always enjoy the work that they do, while others think the most important thing is job security. I personally think that people should always feel safe and satisfied with the work they do. But, financial stability is also very important for individuals to survive.
8
band
It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is undeniable that the presence of spacious public areas, including squares and parks, holds great significance for every urban area. In this essay, I will express my agreement with the claim that all towns and cities should prioritise the provision of ample public spaces for their social, environmental and cultural benefits, leading to a better quality of life for residents and fostering a sense of community.
6.5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
It is generally preferred by a section of society to live in a condo, whereas other people believed flats are more profitable to be lived. Although owning a piece of land and making a house is beneficial for people, yet apartments are more advantageous in many terms, namely, safety, security, facilities etc. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both type of living in following paragraphs.

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets. Some people think that government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problems of public. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public spaces such as squares and parks. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?