Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most
children
Use synonyms
are busy playing video games on their smart devices.
This
Linking Words
essay focuses on the reasons for
this
Linking Words
particular behaviour and how it affects the child's
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
mental and physical condition in a negative way. The first reason that came to mind, is that the new technology is not only accessible but
also
Linking Words
easy to understand and work with. So comparing working or studying with playing video games or surfing the net,
it is clear that
Linking Words
there is no need for concentration or hard work when you are using technology.
In other words
Linking Words
, everyone enjoys working with their smartphones because it does not take a lot of energy, especially when we are talking about
children
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in comparison to playing a sport or playing an Xbox game, the Xbox game is definitely much more interesting than engaging in physical activity. Personally, I believe that these new devices have had a bad influence on our
children
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the following reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is a time-consuming activity,
for instance
Linking Words
, people do not notice the passing of minutes when they are surfing the net, so basically it is a waste of time.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in that case, they will not go around hanging out with their friends as they used to before, so they will become anti-social teenagers in the future.
In other words
Linking Words
, they will be lacking social skills.
Moreover
Linking Words
, not only it
harms
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
their mental health, as mentioned earlier,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
is
harmful
Rephrase
also harmful
show examples
to their body,
for instance
Linking Words
, some experts claim that staring at the smart device's screen for long hours is damaging to the eyes.
In addition
Linking Words
, it may result in insomnia.
Lastly
Linking Words
, if it has a negative impact on
children
Use synonyms
, it means that it is bad for society because in that ,case the future society will fail
due to
Linking Words
its irresponsible, lazy and unhealthy citizens. In conclusion, most
children
Use synonyms
spend hours on their smartphones
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
several reasons. I am totally convinced that
this
Linking Words
is a negative development so the amount of time they use their phones should be limited by parents or guardians.
Submitted by Vaniatbt11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main idea and follows a clear organizational structure. Use transition words and cohesive devices to connect ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, provide a clear position, and support ideas with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure to fully develop each main point and consider both the positive and negative aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: