Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, most

children

Use synonyms

are busy playing video games on their smart devices.

This

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essay focuses on the reasons for

this

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particular behaviour and how it affects the child's

both

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

mental and physical condition in a negative way. The first reason that came to mind, is that the new technology is not only accessible but

also

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easy to understand and work with. So comparing working or studying with playing video games or surfing the net,

it is clear that

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there is no need for concentration or hard work when you are using technology.

In other words

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, everyone enjoys working with their smartphones because it does not take a lot of energy, especially when we are talking about

children

Use synonyms

Furthermore

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, in comparison to playing a sport or playing an Xbox game, the Xbox game is definitely much more interesting than engaging in physical activity. Personally, I believe that these new devices have had a bad influence on our

children

Use synonyms

due to

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the following reasons.

Firstly

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, it is a time-consuming activity,

for instance

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, people do not notice the passing of minutes when they are surfing the net, so basically it is a waste of time.

Secondly

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, in that case, they will not go around hanging out with their friends as they used to before, so they will become anti-social teenagers in the future.

In other words

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, they will be lacking social skills.

Moreover

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, not only it

harms

Wrong verb form

harm

show examples

their mental health, as mentioned earlier,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

harmful

Rephrase

also harmful

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to their body,

for instance

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, some experts claim that staring at the smart device's screen for long hours is damaging to the eyes.

In addition

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, it may result in insomnia.

Lastly

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, if it has a negative impact on

children

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, it means that it is bad for society because in that ,case the future society will fail

due to

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its irresponsible, lazy and unhealthy citizens. In conclusion, most

children

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spend hours on their smartphones

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due to

Change preposition

for

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several reasons. I am totally convinced that

this

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is a negative development so the amount of time they use their phones should be limited by parents or guardians.

Vaniatbt11Wed Feb 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph supports the main idea and follows a clear organizational structure. Use transition words and cohesive devices to connect ideas throughout the essay.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task, provide a clear position, and support ideas with relevant examples and explanations. Make sure to fully develop each main point and consider both the positive and negative aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Some people think that competitive sports such as soccer can help to reach cultural interaction among people of different age groups and nationalities, but others think that it would cause problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news event. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantage?

User Doctors in many countries say that people do not do enough physical exercises. What are the causes of this trend? How can the situation be improved?