Some people think that schools should concentrate on academic courses which are useful to the career of students; courses like music and sports are not useful and therefore should not be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that schools should focus on various
classes
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for high schoolers.
Whereas
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, it is a commonly held belief that academic
courses
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are useful for the future of
students
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, there is an argument that opposes it. In my opinion,
l
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consider that every class
students
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take are important like music or math.
To begin
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with, academic
courses
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like sciences are important.
In other words
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, will be used in everyday life, increasing their knowledge about math ,and different subjects.
For instance
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, smart
students
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have a wide range of knowledge about numbers.
For example
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, the most known person in the UK is Alex Brandon, he had many academic
courses
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in high school leading to early graduation.
furthermore
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, he is now a doctor in the US, with his wife ,and two kids at a young age. Another point to consider, music ,and sports like football are useful. It is possible to say that activities are quite important for high schoolers so they become more talented.
Moreover
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, schools and colleges should never stop
students
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from taking
classes
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like that.
For instance
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, if we take sports
courses
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we will be more fit, and healthier. In conclusion, despite people having different views,
l
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believe that we should not settle for only academic
classes
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,
however
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, art and other sports have to be included in more future
courses
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.
For example
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, when
l
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use
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used
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to be in high school around 3 years ago,
l
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took art and history
classes
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to see if it would be enjoyable, and it was as I expected.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your own opinion about the topic. Clearly indicate whether you fully agree, partially agree, or disagree.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer links between your ideas to improve the flow of your writing. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader.
task achievement
Enhance your examples to make them more relevant to your argument. Ensure that every example ties back to your main idea clearly.
positive
You include a personal example from your own experience, which makes your point relatable.
positive
Your points about the importance of both academic and non-academic courses are clear and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • holistic development
  • traditional academic courses
  • multiple intelligences
  • personal growth
  • professional athlete
  • music therapist
  • soft skills
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • leadership
  • stress relief
  • mental health
  • cultural enrichment
  • global career
  • cognitive abilities
  • concentration
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