Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In light of mounting
problems
concerning traffic
and housing in metropolitan areas, the question of how to reverse the status quo has been a topic of public interest lately, with some proposing relocating big businesses and industrial plants, along with
their people, to rural locales. While
this
proposal is theoretically beneficial, I would argue that it could lead to far-reaching negative repercussions, so other solutions need considering
.
Granted, shifting large corporations, factories, and their workers to the countryside would effectively mitigate the problem of overcrowding in metropolises, which is the major contributor to Wrong verb form
considered
traffic
congestion and housing shortages in those areas. However
, proponents of this
scheme often fail to factor in its concomitant adverse impact on rural communities. Specifically, a massive influx of new businesses and migrants could strain local resources and infrastructure, leading to such
problems
as higher traffic
volumes and soaring rental costs in rural locations. Such
a relocation proposal, in other words
, would not really address traffic
and housing problems
, but rather shifting
them from one place to another.
Given the aforementioned limitations, the government should consider other methods of combating housing shortages and Wrong verb form
shift
traffic
congestion in urban locations. One viable solution is to allocate more funds to upgrading public transportation, such
as by developing a speedy mass transportation network. This
measure has proven successful in Japan, where bullet trains enable commuters to go back and forth without having to relocate to cities for work. As a result
, this
country has managed to curb its urban population growth and, by extension, prevent increased traffic
volumes and escalating housing prices, without having to relocate all big businesses to the countryside.
In conclusion, while
moving big corporations and factories, as well as
their workforces, to rural locales
could theoretically counter urban Add the comma(s)
locales,
traffic
jams and housing problems
, I would contend that this
proposal would come at the expense/cost/price of many serious problems
for local communities. For
this
reason, other solutions like investing in public transport should be taken into consideration.Submitted by lantran180487 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas progress smoothly from one paragraph to another, contributing well to the overall coherence and cohesion. Good use of linking words and cohesive devices.
task achievement
The task is fully achieved as your essay addresses the given topic and provides reasoned support for your position. Comprehensive and relevant main ideas align with the task's requirements. Well-done on this part.
lexical resource
You have presented a range of vocabulary appropriately. However, try to diversify it more for a higher score. Also ensure to avoid repetition. Phrases like 'traffic congestion and housing shortages' were recurring. Try to find synonyms for these phrases.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a variety of grammatical structures. However, some sentences could be more complex or advanced. For improvement, try to diversify your sentence structures and utilize complex sentences to demonstrate a broader range from simple to complex.