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Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
It is noted that some
people
 like to spend more
time
 in their workplaces and little
time
 for relaxation concerns.
This
 essay will develop some merits and demerits of
this
 trend. As far as I am in the favor of latter notion.
To begin
 with, the benefits of working more
time
 on the job to earn good rewards and live a wealthy life. To explain it, Spending more
time
 on work could achieve overtime and promotion which help to make ends meet and live with updated amenities
such
 as a better house, new generation car etcetera.
Moreover
,
this
 trend could assist
people
 in old age by getting a pension or reimbursing the insurance's instalments.
Thus
, Working long hours could support
people
 to live a joyful life. Shifting toward the demerits, Why leaving a bit of
time
 for leisure tasks could be harmful to individuals. Because it could not only create conflicts among families but
also
 deteriorate health by not doing physical activities. To clarify, If
people
 give less
time
 to their loved ones, it is not possible to understand them well. which can create conflicts and home situations can be worse.
On the other hand
, many health issues could emerge by not doing daily physical activities, which could be the route to chronic diseases
such
 as Obesity, Diabetes etcetera.
For instance
, a survey carried on in India, revealed that many marriages fail
due to
 not providing enough
time
 to the partners and next they raise the obesity issue by sedentary exercises because they generally spend more
time
 in offices.
Therefore
, Working lengthy
time
 in workplaces is not in
people
's favour. In conclusion,
Although
 there are some benefits of spending more hours
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the office which assist them with good rewards and live luxury life, the drawback could be more serious than the benefits
such
 as family fights and health problems.
Submitted by mandeepsinghsony2022 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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