IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisment tell us about new product that may improve our lives. which view do you agree or disagree?

#people #advertisment #product #lives
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It is commonly believed that
advertisements
 promote the majority of us to purchase products that we are not in need of. Some
people
 support the opinion that advertising may let us have an idea about what is new in the market, which may boost our living standards. In my view, I believe it is important to let ourselves object to some of the
advertisements
, so we can get updated about new products that may change our lives. One argument for agreement and disagreement will be explained in detail below
along with
 the conclusion. Getting exposed to
advertisements
 from time to time is crucial to change our ideas. The more we see differences
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 what we used to see or have, the more we get used to new innovations coming from different minds.
For instance
, without getting by ads
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 online services our internet world would have been very limited by now, most of the day-to-day used websites today (Grammarly or Fivers) got to our lives
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 advertising. In a nutshell, promoting goods or online services is essential to keep changing
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the better. On the other side, many argue that by repeating the same
advertisements
 or announcements more and more
people
 get brainwashed to buy whatever product they see. Insisting on anything and repeating it in media will make it more acceptable to the general public in time. The same goes with commercial ads that reappear on every other platform making
people
 intend to buy it wherever they see it even though it is not essentially needed. It can be concluded that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 by advertising a product we would definitely attract more
people
 to possess it even if it is less essential or has less quality than other component
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
.
However
, without
ads
Add a comma
,ads
show examples
 we would have no clue about the new innovations around the world or how to get benefit from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. In a world where life is changing
this
 fast, we need to make ourselves more flexible to go on with it.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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