In many countries nowadays, young single people no longer stay with their parents until they are married, but leave to study or work somewhere else. Do you think this trend has more advantages or disadvantages?

In
this
day and age, young
people
who have not married yet tend to not live with their
parents
due to
their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
or work at far-off places. In spite of several drawbacks that
this
trend provides, I strongly hold the view that its benefits are greater.
To begin
with, living far from
parents
at a young age can cause many problems. The first one is the lack of love derived from being isolated from family. Love is always a key factor to help
people
overcome difficulties or stress. With teenagers, the care and love from
parents
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
even more essential for their proper development in personality.
Therefore
, without these things, children tend to feel vulnerable,
insecured
Correct your spelling
insecure
unsecured
or homesick
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can lead to depression.
Secondly
, young
people
who do not stay with their family have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
risk to do bad things,
such
as
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
or drug addiction.
This
is maybe because these youngers have less chance to receive valuable
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from
parents
which would help them resist temptation.
On the other hand
, I still believe that there are
also
various benefits
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
living independently.
Firstly
, it
stimulate
Change the verb form
stimulates
show examples
younger
people
to learn how to manage their lives properly
such
as saving money, doing chores or cooking. These skills often not be taught by
parents
, but have to be learned on their own
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of experiences. Another advantage is that it reduces the burden which
people
put on their
parents
.
For example
, when an individual has a job, they can afford their life and no longer needs
supply
Correct article usage
a supply
show examples
from their family. In conclusion, I would argue that the benefits of living far from
parents
Correct pronoun usage
my parents
show examples
outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: