Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities .others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Public

health

has become a major concern for countries . Some argue that rising the number of

sports

amenities in nations can enhance community

health

However

, some people think that rather than increasing the

sports

facilities , there are other measures which can take for improving

health

This

essay will discuss both opinions and provide a suitable conclusion . On the one hand , enlarging the number of

sports

faculties can definitely improve the

health

of citizens . As we know , most people today are stressed and obese because of lifestyle and difficulties in their jobs .

Therefore

, if government upgrade the number of gym and training areas can result in fitness in individuals .

For example

, nations like the UK had already installed new gyms and football grounds for maintaining the well-being of citizens.

On the other hand

, it is obvious that rising the figures for

sports

facilities is not only the best solution for enhancing public

health

; there are other ways too . Educating the importance of

health

in individual life may

also

bring some massive changes in physical well-being . Introducing

sports

services will not change the mentality about

health

in society , as we can see that gym services which are provided by the government nowadays are completely destroyed by irresponsible people .

Therefore

, having a basic education about fitness can help them to understand the necessity of those faculties , and as a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

consequence they will give priority to their physical

health

To conclude

, introducing

sports

facilities can be a good option for boosting fitness levels in society .

However

, I think that having fundamental information about

health

is the most important thing to consider .

Submitted by varshajose345 on Thu Feb 16 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities .others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?