IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
Living in big
cities
 is thought to be bad for the
health
 of the
people
. In my opinion, I disagree to a large extent because
city
 life exposes one to civilization and better care of one's
health
 through available and sophisticated healthcare services. First of all, I must say that living in the
village
 or suburb is quite nice and peaceful as the environment is usually green and the atmosphere is fresh with less pollution. Secondarily, a lot of gardening or agricultural activities can take place with cheap meals from locally produced foodstuffs. Notwithstanding, big
cities
 provide greater and better options
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
foodstuff
Fix the agreement mistake
foodstuffs
show examples
 both local and intercontinental, which are helpful for healthy living.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, the big
city
 gives better options for education with
better equipped
Add a hyphen
better-equipped
show examples
 schools and
well motivated
Add a hyphen
well-motivated
show examples
 teachers. It is important to note that educated
people
 tend to take better care of their
health
 than illiterates.
In addition
, the healthcare services
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in the big
city
 are
also
 more advanced and sophisticated than in the small
city
, suburbs or
village
, so the
people
's
health
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
better taken
Add a hyphen
better-taken
show examples
 care of when they fall sick than those in the villages or small
cities
. Undoubtedly, big
cities
 provide various places for exercise and
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, which are usually lacking in a
village
 or suburb. These places help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
city
 dwellers to keep fit and healthy.
Lastly
, the big
cities
 provide better opportunities to earn
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 living and earn bigger salaries, which helps them live
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthier life and afford good and costly
health
 services. In conclusion, big
city
 life gives better
health
 to the
people
 with all the available facilities and amenities it provides to improve their
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
 and cannot be compared with the limited options for
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a small
city
, suburb or
village
.
Submitted by samverma9030 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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