Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

children have been told by the adults in their

life

Use synonyms

that they can do anything in their

life

Use synonyms

if they work hard

Change preposition

show examples

it. in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will

elaburate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

more about the cons and

pors

Correct your spelling

pros

this

Linking Words

notion and give

revelante

Correct your spelling

relevant

examples.

To begin

Linking Words

, the advantages of

this

Linking Words

idea it has several of them but the most two that I would like to talk about

Correct your spelling

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

,it gives them the motivation ,which is nessecery to be

seccess

Correct your spelling

success

life

Use synonyms

for example

Linking Words

, if a child

told

Add a missing verb

is told

show examples

in school ,that

Correct your spelling

show examples

can pass the exam if he studies hard

then

Linking Words

he will do it ,and will make a high mark.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it

promots

Correct your spelling

promotes

their

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

Correct word choice

and confident

show examples

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

to achieve

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

life

Use synonyms

whereas

Linking Words

children

raised

Add a missing verb

are raised

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

ideas that only rich people or highly

conected

Correct your spelling

connected

can make success stories.these kids will have no

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

where

Correct word choice

and

show examples

they will tend to be shy and

chaked

Correct your spelling

chalked

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

However

Linking Words

, in the matter of

disadvantages

Add a comma

,disadvantages

show examples

these words can

also

Linking Words

couse

Correct your spelling

cause

some damage to their personality.for

instant

Add an article

an instant

show examples

, if a child couldn't make a

god

Correct your spelling

good

show examples

job with some activities, because of things

that

Linking Words

Change the verb form

are

show examples

out of his

countrol

Correct your spelling

control

Then

Linking Words

he will be

debress

Correct your spelling

debris

depress

since he had been told that

any one

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

can do

any thing

Correct your spelling

anything

show examples

if he worked hard.

to conclude

Linking Words

. children should be

tought

Correct your spelling

taught

tough

to understand

this

Linking Words

notion in more detail as it may go wrong in some parts of

life

Use synonyms

additionally

Linking Words

. as humans are weak ,and we

cann't

Correct your spelling

can't

countrol

Correct your spelling

control

or fight bad things happen and

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

okay , but what is not ok is to stop

tring

Correct your spelling

trying

to make your pest. so they should

told

Change the verb form

tell

be told

show examples

that

this

Linking Words

notion is correct

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if we

keept

Correct your spelling

kept

keep

tring

Correct your spelling

trying

and did not stop improving

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

if we

felled

Change the form of the verb

fell

show examples

mohmmadloaa95

Feb 17, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
inclusive fitness
public health campaigns
lifestyle diseases
preventative health measures
health infrastructure
wellness initiatives
nutritional education
health-conscious
behavioural change
motivational outreach
physical wellbeing
cross-sectional collaboration
government subsidies
public health policy

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?
These days, it is a common aim of many people leaving university to try to start up their own association. They believe that running a effort has many advantages over working for someone else, such as the freedom to make your own accord. I agree with this point of view, but it is important to bear in mind that running a field does not suit everybody.
7
band
Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Learning a foreign language is a contentious issue debated nowadays, with some people thinking that children should be taught a foreign language from the beginning of school, while others believe that it is better for children to wait until secondary school. This essay will examine some key points regarding both views.
7.5
band
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that leisure activities have to be complex to be amusing. However, this essay will disagree with the said statement. I believe that hobbies are chosen for their calming benefits as well as a necessity for not challenging activities in order to leave their routine.
7.5
band
Some people believe that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matter is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today most workplaces have an identity, in other words, a brand to attract consumers. This includes the work uniforms, advertisements, and discounts.However, some individuals believe that companies should not care about how their employees dress, because the important thing is the calibre of their job. The essay will discuss my disagreement on the matter.
8
band
A large company in your area has decided to spend amount of money,either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts.It has asked for feed back general public. write a letter to the company .in your letter -describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team -summerise the benefits of paying for the concert. -say how you think to send the money
I truly appreciate your efforts in allocating funds for social welfare in our area. I am writing this letter to express my views on your feedback survey on whether funds should be spent on the concert or sports.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others feel it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matter is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?