Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #patriotism #society

Patriotisim

Correct your spelling

Patriotism

is a power which keeps

people

united and

peacefull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

However

, these days

citiezens

Correct your spelling

citizens

tend to question

patriotism

. Is

this

love for the

country

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

always a positive aspect, but maybe it will bring more trouble than help? In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

dvelve

Correct your spelling

delve

evolve

Change preposition

into

show examples

this

topic uncovering

Correct article usage

the advanteges

show examples

advanteges

Correct your spelling

advantages

and disadvantages of

patriotism

Firstly

lets

Replace the word

let's

let us

show examples

look into the positive side of

patriotisim

Correct your spelling

patriotism

. The devotion to the

country

could bring up the

economy

The

Correct article usage

show examples

example of

this

could be

Lithuanias

Change noun form

Lithuania's

show examples

company “Surfshark”, which provides a tool to browse the internet safely and

protection

Replace the word

protected

show examples

from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

internet hackers. The

companies

Change noun form

company's

show examples

product reached anyplace in the world,

therefore

it gained a lot of

succses

Correct your spelling

success

quickly.

This

brought money not only to the owners

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but to Lithuania’s

economy

as well. They became one of the most

succesfull

Correct your spelling

successful

companies and joined others “unicorns”.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, they have been awarded by the

presedent

Correct your spelling

president

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

filmed and translated all over the

country

. The news not only made the

citiezens

Correct your spelling

citizens

happy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

encouraged other

bussnises

Correct your spelling

businesses

to work harder

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Other

Correct quantifier usage

Another

show examples

, advantage would be that

patriotism

as in its

discription

Correct your spelling

description

- unities

people

People

’s

intrest

Correct your spelling

interest

Add a hyphen

in-country

show examples

country

well being could turn into loyalty and

hard working

Add a hyphen

hard-working

show examples

citiezens

Correct your spelling

citizens

with one main goal. That way

people

will not be so self-centred and

narsistic

Correct your spelling

narcissistic

artistic

and would trust the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

would accept and help others more than ever.

This

could really help the

country

flowresh

Correct your spelling

flourish

as one. The

disatvantage

Correct your spelling

disadvantage

could be

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of workers. The

patriotism

could turn into severe nationalism where emigrants fleeing wars could not find shelter by promising to work in the

country

. It is a problem because in the countries like

Lithuania

Add a comma

,Lithuania

show examples

the rates of birth are decreasing and the level of

imigrants

Correct your spelling

immigrants

is going up which results in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of workers. By limiting incoming emigrants the

country

could face problems with production in factories or issues in local farms.

This

can lower GMP and rise nessecery product prices for

residence

Replace the word

residents

show examples

. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not letting new workers into the

country

which can be the cause of

over protection

Correct your spelling

overprotection

show examples

and love

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

country

could ruin the

economy

Nevertheless

, there are some pros to

patriotisim

Correct your spelling

patriotism

that can overcome the cons. It can help to improve

county’s

Correct article usage

the county’s

show examples

economy

Correct word choice

and additionaly

show examples

additionaly

Correct your spelling

additionally

it can help to unite

people

Submitted by oimigle on Fri Feb 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

378 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
sense of belonging
strengthening societal bonds
instills
pride and loyalty
excessive
nationalism
intolerance
discrimination
conflict
blind allegiance
flawed policies
unifying force
crisis
manipulated
political leaders
division
advocating
responsibility
civic duty
engaged
informed citizenship
balanced and inclusive
cultural diversity
marginalize
minority groups
stifle dissent

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people
1) Owning a home is more significant than renting for some nationalities. This essay will discuss that having an estate is more positive as you are not restricted by your action at home, meanwhile renting might be evicted by the landlord.
7
band
in many counties, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays more and more human beings are beginning to opt for Western attire, instead of cultural wear, mainly due to changes in trends and comfort. I believe it's neither a positive nor negative development, since it's a personal choice.
5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays it is becoming more and more common for individuals to form their personal relationships using social networking sites. Although many people point out that this trend could affect communication between people, I think the benefits to society as a whole will overshadow these perceived disadvantages.
4.5
band
Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?
When talking about the issue of children doing paid work, there will be various types of responses whether it is against or approval upon the situation. A few people have said that it is pretty much endanger the children, while others said that it brings abundace of benefits. From my poin of view, the advantages are children will be more prepared and gain a valuable exprience. Nonetheless, there are also some drawbacks that should be taken into account.
5.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many believe that music has the power to unite people from diverse backgrounds and age groups, promoting, mutual understanding and empathy. This essay will explore the extent to which it can indeed bridge the gaps between different cultures and ages.

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

in many counties, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.