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Band 3

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among the young people. What the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective reducing crime?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
Crime
 appears to be increasing in most parts
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 the world, particularly among young people.
Recent
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Recently
show examples
,
crime
 has been directly and indirectly related to youth. The causes
of
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apply
show examples
appear to be focused on three main problems that contribute to crimes. Lack of parental guidance can lead teenagers to delinquency. A child with instructions from a parent is
self-confidently
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self-confident
show examples
 and less prone to bad habits. And, Violence in the media and games can affect young people’s attitudes and
behavior
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behaviour
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. The games that young
people’s
Change noun form
people
show examples
 play are criminal;
for example
, there are
counter strikes
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counterstrikes
show examples
, mobile legends,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
Thirdly
,
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of interest and direction can stray youngsters.
According to
 the research, the group of young people who are involved in
crime
 does not have their hobbies and does not do anything in their free
time
. Turning the possible solutions, Parents to take an active role in their child’s life. And, if
limited
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the viewing
time
 of violent films and online games
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 perspective of youth
crime
 will change.
Also
, the government should have supervised social clubs where youths can go in their free
time
, or schools should organize more interesting and involving extracurricular activities.
Overall
, the basic upbringing of youth is directly related to the family or parents. If young people
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 in the right social environment and spend their leisure
time
 in the right way (place), they can increase
chances
Correct pronoun usage
their chances
show examples
 of not being involved in
crime
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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