IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #cities #towns #spaces
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In current years,
people
Use synonyms
 debate whether it is true If the stakeholder spends the budget massively for establishing open public zones. Obviously, I agree with that notion because I believe those
areas
Use synonyms
 will be needed for supporting the
city
Use synonyms
 folks' lives.
To begin
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 with, in the twentieth century, human beings
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 rapidly and many cities
appear
Wrong verb form
appeared
show examples
for accommodating
Change preposition
to accommodate
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 them.
Thus
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, In a few years, many metropolises
are
Wrong verb form
will be
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fulfilled
Verb problem
filled
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 by skyscrapers,
while
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 the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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start
Wrong verb form
started
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 to consider constructing plenty of open space for the public, managing the utilization of land is still balanced between buildings and public spaces.
This
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 open zone could be an option for the government to decorate their
city
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 and give a variety of options to citizens for spending their leisure time.
Moreover
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, these open spaces
such
Linking Words
 as the
city
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 parks which are equipped with skateboard and BMX tracks might be alternatives for entertainment zones for the
city
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 folks.
In addition
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, nowadays, some
people
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 have a tendency to spend their time on the internet, making them feel isolated. Because of that, open space could be a solution as a medium for the inhabitants to interact and connect with others directly since these
areas
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 lead
people
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 to meet with someone new and share their ideas together rather than communicating through media social.
Furthermore
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, those locations bring several benefits for humans
such
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 as reducing
people
Use synonyms
’s stress during weekdays which is required in
this
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 industrial era.
For instance
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, in Jakarta, the government
opens
Wrong verb form
opened
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 many spots outdoor
areas
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 across residential
areas
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for making
Change preposition
to make
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 the local
people
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 feel convenient to live there.
To sum up
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,
people
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 need an outdoor space to socialize and amuse themselves and it is a normal necessity as a social creature. Because of that, I firmly concur that the state allocates a national budget for offering their citizens many decent open public spots.
Submitted by muh.yassirullah on

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