IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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In today's society , it is ubiquitous to notice that youngsters spend hours on their
smartphones
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 on a daily
basic
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basis
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.
This
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 essay will explore the cause of
this
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 issue and provide my opinion that it is a merit change in the community .
To begin
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 with , it is obvious that nowadays
children
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 are living in
the
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an
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 era in which
the
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apply
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artificial
intelligent
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intelligence
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 and
the
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apply
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advanced technology are constantly developing , so it is common that
smartphones
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has
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have
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 become
an
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apply
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essential device for people of all ages , especially young
children
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 .
This
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 is because not only smartphone is really convenient for people to use but it
also
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 has many powerful platforms that can enable
to
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them to
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fulfill
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fulfil
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 their assignments and relax
everyday
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every day
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.Needless to say ,
smartphones
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 are considered
as
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apply
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a must-have device for
children
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 who are very curious and have a passion to explore many new apps on
phones
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 , and they
spending
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spend
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 hours
immerged
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immersed
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themselves
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apply
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in their
smartphones
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as a result
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 .
This
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 is an important development because thanks to
this
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 , when
children
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spending
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spend
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 hours on their mobile
phones
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 , they can have the opportunities to develop their critical thinking through many
education
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educational
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 apps on
smartphones
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 . Not only that , youngsters can have more
chance
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chances
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 to broaden their horizons by attending many online classes or
get
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getting
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 useful materials on many websites through state-of-the-art
phones
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.
Last
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 but not least , juveniles can meet their relatives and friends through many virtual meetings
with
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without
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 having to travel a long distance .
Therefore
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 , it is beneficial for
children
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 to allocate their time
on
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to
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smartphones
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. In conclusion , the justification of why
children
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spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their whole time on their
phones
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 is very obvious and
this
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 tendency may bring many advantages
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and impact
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impact
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impacts
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 for youngsters in the long run .
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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