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Band 5

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
In today's society , it is ubiquitous to notice that youngsters spend hours on their
smartphones
 on a daily
basic
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basis
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.
This
 essay will explore the cause of
this
 issue and provide my opinion that it is a merit change in the community .
To begin
 with , it is obvious that nowadays
children
 are living in
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 era in which
the
Correct article usage
apply
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artificial
intelligent
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intelligence
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 and
the
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apply
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advanced technology are constantly developing , so it is common that
smartphones
has
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have
show examples
 become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential device for people of all ages , especially young
children
 .
This
 is because not only smartphone is really convenient for people to use but it
also
 has many powerful platforms that can enable
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their assignments and relax
everyday
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every day
show examples
.Needless to say ,
smartphones
 are considered
as
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apply
show examples
a must-have device for
children
 who are very curious and have a passion to explore many new apps on
phones
 , and they
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 hours
immerged
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immersed
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themselves
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apply
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in their
smartphones
as a result
 .
This
 is an important development because thanks to
this
 , when
children
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 hours on their mobile
phones
 , they can have the opportunities to develop their critical thinking through many
education
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educational
show examples
 apps on
smartphones
 . Not only that , youngsters can have more
chance
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chances
show examples
 to broaden their horizons by attending many online classes or
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 useful materials on many websites through state-of-the-art
phones
.
Last
 but not least , juveniles can meet their relatives and friends through many virtual meetings
with
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without
show examples
 having to travel a long distance .
Therefore
 , it is beneficial for
children
 to allocate their time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
smartphones
. In conclusion , the justification of why
children
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their whole time on their
phones
 is very obvious and
this
 tendency may bring many advantages
Correct word choice
and impact
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impact
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impacts
show examples
 for youngsters in the long run .
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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