Studies have shown that unemployment has a bad effect on both the physical and mental health of people without a job. For this reason, governments need to create jobs for everyone who wants one. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in Government hiring, where the community can do their task with peace of mind and make future plans for their careers. Some folks argue that the Administration should provide recruitment to everyone,
while
, others, believe that the State cannot offer a place to everyone due to
a lack of finances and infrastructure. In my opinion, the crowd should do hard work and find jobs according to
their qualifications and experiences. This
topic will discuss why the Governance should not be responsible for employment.
Firstly
, due to
increasing competition in the local and international markets, it is getting very hard to manufacture goods and export them to different countries. Another factor is that setting up industries requires a lot of money. If the President of any country requests money from the World Bank, they examine the nation's financial position. As a result
, not many kingdoms are able to get loans from international banks. For example
, China is the only country, that is
dominating all over the world and made it difficult for other states to supply products.
Secondly
, another primary factor is that if any nation manages to borrow a loan from private buyers, you have to sell the nation's assets such
as mines and local minerals. Moreover
, there is no guarantee people will be faithful to their kingdom and work hard. Mostly, it has been seen in many nationals, that after they received the job, they thought no one would suspend them if not perform a good job. Such
as the country's growth started to decline. Probing ahead, sometimes the population do not get the situation per their qualifications and they have to accept the spot, offered by the Governor. As a consequence
, it is evident that most qualified do not want to work in public entities.
In conclusion, following the analysis of the topic, it is clear that
individuals must get jobs according to
their qualifications, so they can enjoy their lives according to
earnings and make ultimate plans. However
, the Government must provide basic services to society such
as medical, education and protection to avoid any prospective clashes. Further
, it is predicted that the Kingdom is going to look after their population in the forthcoming as well as
for growth.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear position. However, there are moments where the reasoning could be clearer. Aim to refine your argument to make it more logical and straightforward.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, paragraphs can sometimes seem loosely connected. Clear transitions between ideas will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples. While you mention China, expanding on this with concrete details would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have good main points, but some of them could be better supported with more detailed reasoning. This will make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Avoid abrupt transitions. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. It is well-structured and meets the criteria of a coherent essay.
task achievement
You have identified and developed a clear stance on the issue, which is pivotal in writing a persuasive essay.
language
Your language and vocabulary are appropriate for the task and demonstrate a proficient level of English.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.