The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.
The diagram depicts information about the number of parcels delivered by the two different companies from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
,
TNT
mail
service
gradually increased and reached peak status and the
FedEx
service
starting phase was sharply high and slow down after that fluctuating.
Firstly
, In 1920 most of the couriers were delivered by
FedEx
compared to
TNT
, which is 15000
moreover
two times higher than
TNT
.After the decade
TNT
was slightly higher but
FedEx
gradually increased which is more than 15,000. In 1940
FedEx
reached approximately 24000 and
this
is the highest period in the given digraph
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the following decade
deeply fallen
Add the auxiliary verb
fell
has deeply fallen
show examples
the
service
rate which below 15000 .
Service
rate stable from 1950 to 1960 , after that
this
mail
,
service
gradually increased their
service
which is more than 15000 in 2000.
TNT
mail
service
gently increased from 1940 to 1960 after that slightly down in the following decade
moreover
it was going to peak from 1980 to 1990 .In 2000
this
mail
service
reached nearly 25000 . In Conclusion,
Overall
we have seen the diagraphic information and it shows that
TNT
couriers lead the highest number of services.
Submitted by keyarthi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, overall".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words tnt, mail, service, fedex with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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