IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The crime rates nowadays are decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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Firstly
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, I do
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
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 thanks to our modern
technology
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 that made it easier to catch a thief or any
crime
Use synonyms
 maker and in
this
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 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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essay I'll dig into more information.
moreover
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.nowadays,crimes are much less than that in the past now we have cameras everywhere and a lot of policemen everywhere in the cities. even if a
crime
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 took a place with advanced
technology
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 it'll be easier to catch them,
technology
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 has significantly reduced
crime
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 rates. The advancement of machinery can be a threat to society. Nowadays, the internet is the most convenient and easiest accessible source of information for almost everything. The information can be processed through the internet within a fraction of a second.
Nevertheless
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, many people inappropriately use
this
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 mechanization. A significant amount of personal data is available not only in social media accounts but
also
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 on net banking which can be easily hacked by professional hackers.
For instance
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, the study shows that 80 % of the cybercrime reported in North America are hacked net banking accounts of customers who have lost millions of dollars just in a couple of seconds.
However
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, as
such
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 criminal opportunities arise, so developers are combating (fighting against)
this
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 threat with security software. In conclusion, the advancement of machinery has reduced the
crime
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 rate in some areas as compared to the past.
However
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, new criminal activities have emerged
due to
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 the misuse of
technology
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.
Therefore
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, it is hard to say whether it has reduced or not, but it has definitely changed in nature.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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