some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

In the present world, folks have started planning an early

retirement

Use synonyms

. Many nations do not provide any

retirement

Use synonyms

plans to their citizens despite having a high

tax

Use synonyms

rate on all commodities. I completely disagree with the argument that it is an individual's own responsibility to have savings to take care of themselves after

retirement

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, from the time a

person

Use synonyms

is born, he has to pay service on everything he purchases.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a

person

Use synonyms

is going out for a meal, he pays

tax

Use synonyms

on transit and food.

This

Linking Words

is just a basic example of how society has to pay the government for its every activity. Even if a

person

Use synonyms

decides to cook a meal by himself, he has to pay a

tax

Use synonyms

on the groceries. If everything for the government is being paid by the communities,

then

Linking Words

there should be an age limit after which the official agencies start paying society back in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of a

retirement

Use synonyms

plan.

Secondly

Linking Words

, official agencies take a major chunk of a

person

Use synonyms

's salary every year. It feels senseless to common people to first have a huge part of their income taken away and

then

Linking Words

again have to pay for everything they purchase.

For example

Linking Words

, in Canada, almost 40 per cent of income gets deducted as

tax

Use synonyms

every year, where almost all commodities are provided by private incorporations. Paying large money for their complete life and not getting any breaks is depressing.

Finally

Linking Words

, as I mentioned above, a

person

Use synonyms

who keeps paying the government his whole life, no matter what financial condition he is in, deserves a break in his life. So, every nation should have a

retirement

Use synonyms

plan, that would help society to live their

last

Linking Words

years peacefully.

kunwar81145vats

Feb 17, 2023

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task response

Task Achievement: The response provides relevant arguments against the idea that it is an individual's responsibility to save for retirement. However, some points lack development, and the essay does not fully address all aspects of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a generally logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of supporting points is somewhat weak, and the use of examples is not fully effective in enhancing clarity and coherence.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

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Motorways help people travel quickly and cover long distance but they also cause problems. What are the problems of motorways and what solutions are there?

Some people think that teachers are no longer needed because students can study via the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?