some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #responsibility #money #care

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In the present world, folks have started planning an early

retirement

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. Many nations do not provide any

retirement

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plans to their citizens despite having a high

tax

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rate on all commodities. I completely disagree with the argument that it is an individual's own responsibility to have savings to take care of themselves after

retirement

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, from the time a

person

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is born, he has to pay service on everything he purchases.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a

person

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is going out for a meal, he pays

tax

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on transit and food.

This

Linking Words

is just a basic example of how society has to pay the government for its every activity. Even if a

person

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decides to cook a meal by himself, he has to pay a

tax

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on the groceries. If everything for the government is being paid by the communities,

then

Linking Words

there should be an age limit after which the official agencies start paying society back in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

of a

retirement

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plan.

Secondly

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, official agencies take a major chunk of a

person

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's salary every year. It feels senseless to common people to first have a huge part of their income taken away and

then

Linking Words

again have to pay for everything they purchase.

For example

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, in Canada, almost 40 per cent of income gets deducted as

tax

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every year, where almost all commodities are provided by private incorporations. Paying large money for their complete life and not getting any breaks is depressing.

Finally

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, as I mentioned above, a

person

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who keeps paying the government his whole life, no matter what financial condition he is in, deserves a break in his life. So, every nation should have a

retirement

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plan, that would help society to live their

last

Linking Words

years peacefully.

Submitted by kunwar81145vats on Fri Feb 17 2023

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task response

Task Achievement: The response provides relevant arguments against the idea that it is an individual's responsibility to save for retirement. However, some points lack development, and the essay does not fully address all aspects of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a generally logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of supporting points is somewhat weak, and the use of examples is not fully effective in enhancing clarity and coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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some people say that it is responsibility of the individual to save money for their own care after they retire. Do you agree or disagree?

The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies?

Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why is this the case? How can they be encouraged to go out?

some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that what children is their behaviour. other leave the amount of time they spend on television influences their behaviour most. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Very few schoolchildren learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?