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Band 6.5

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 150 words

The graph below shows tourism statistics among Venezuelian students from 2011 to 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. 150 words
#tourism #statistics #venezuelian #students #information #features #comparisons
The assigned line chart illustrates the information about the tourism statistic among Veneueliam beginners from 2011 to 2014. The
Vartical
Correct your spelling
Vertical
 axis shows the numbers and the Horizontal axis
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 the years.
Overall
, It is lucid that, the average number of
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 tourism destinations in Rome shows an upward trend.
However
, the downward trend which
wse
Correct your spelling
was
 followed by the freshers, who
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Paris and London. At a fleeting glance, it is immensely that, the
students
Correct quantifier usage
number of students
show examples
 who were visiting in 2011 was 10000. It was the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
lowest number in Paris and
then
 climbed dramatically throughout the period. After that, rose slightly
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 18000 in 2014.
Moreover
, in the same
year
 2011, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of students visiting was 15000 in London,
while
 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
continuously increased in the
last
 2013 and
then
 grew up slowly
nearby
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
 19000 in the later
year
.
Further
 scrutinizing the chart, the tourism destination was visiting Rome in the former
year
, and freshers were nearby 18000, whilst, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased sharply between 10000 to 15000 in 2012, whilst in the same
year
, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
again increased suddenly about 17000 in the next
year
 and
then
 declined drastically less than 18000in the given period of time.
Submitted by daljeetchanna93 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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