IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Instead of asking the government to bear the cost of higher education, students should pay their tuition fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #cost #education #students #tuition #fees
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Some people consider it necessary for
students
Use synonyms
 to afford the
tuition
Use synonyms
 fees themselves
instead
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 of requiring the state to
support
Correct pronoun usage
themsupport
show examples
. I do not agree with
this
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 argument since it can cause several potential issues,
although
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 the government can spend money on other important fields. If
students
Use synonyms
 are supposed to pay the
tuition
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 fees themselves, the gap between the rich and the poor can get increasingly extended. It is because the high cost of pursuing a degree discourages some people from receiving an education in advanced professional techniques which often plays a vital part in finding employment with a high salary, especially for those who are in poor condition.
This
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 can lead to a situation where the educational resources turn to the side of the children of rich people, which would enlarge the paradox between the two parties.
In addition
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, charging college
students
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 can create a stressful atmosphere in their daily lives and result in bad academic outcomes. Many of the
students
Use synonyms
 may be unable to rest enough or hang out with friends as usual since they have to cut down the budget on entertainment after committing a
tuition
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 payment. Losing opportunities to play will
then
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 possibly minimise their motivation to study and satisfaction with life on campus. And it is unlikely that the examiners would obtain good grades with negative feelings.
On the other hand
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, it is reasonable to use the funding saved from covering the
tuition
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 fees for college
students
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 in fixing other social issues of high priority.
For instance
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, the problem of recycling waste has become sharply severe as the population kept rising. More investment from the government can to some extent relieve the impact of social problems like
this
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.
To sum up
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, it is fair for the government to cast a glance at other social issues,
while
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 it is of high risk to put college
students
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 on the spot where they have to pay the
tuition
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 on their own.
Submitted by sy19981224 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bear the cost
  • tuition fees
  • financial management
  • taxpayer burden
  • public finances
  • allocate resources
  • social inequality
  • socio-economic disparities
  • access to higher education
  • long-term economic benefits
  • educated workforce
  • earning potentials
  • investment vs expense
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