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Writing Samples
Band 7

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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All around the world,
people
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 copy each other lifestyle. It is argued that celebrity is the
trend
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 of
fashion
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 life so
people
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 follow the tendency of
fashion
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 and consumer products. I strongly agree with the statement because
people
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 follow the celebrity life and are motivated by the advertisement. One of the main reasons,
people
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 make idols and become like
that is
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 so they follow their dressing sense, the products that they use, the food they eat, and the brands that are followed by celebrities.
Furthermore
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, Holly Wood sets a
trend
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 in clothes, and cosmetics because they are highly paid by respective
companies
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.
In addition
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, the influencer has millions of followers, and
companies
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 sponsor them to increase the popularity of their products
due to
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 the
people
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 following their bias that become
trend
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 and popular.
For example
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, BTS member Jeon Jungkook is a brand ambassador of Calvin Klein and their armies increase the global net worth.
However
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,
companies
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 exploit
this
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trend
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 through advertising and influencer marketing to create trends in
fashion
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 and consumer goods. Probing ahead,
people
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 may find comfort and relaxation in copying them because they want to become like that. Meanwhile, strategies in the
fashion
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 industry make it affordable for average
companies
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 to imitate high-end
fashion
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 trends where it is good for daily usage.
For instance
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, the famous influencer Kyle Jenner owns a makeup organization and she advertises by using social media from Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook,
this
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 can increase the popularity of younger girls.
To sum up
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, for the aforementioned reasons, I agree that the popularity of fashionable like increases with the advertising the things. Anyhow,
people
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 love to mimic their crush's life, even if they buy the product that they flourish.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in your arguments by refining your sentence structures. For instance, the phrase 'the products that they use, the food they eat, and the brands that are followed by celebrities' could be made more concise for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your arguments with clearer transitions between paragraphs. For example, use phrases such as 'Additionally' or 'Moreover' to smoothly guide the reader.
task achievement
Ensure correct usage of singular and plural nouns, such as 'people's lifestyles' instead of 'each other lifestyle'. This will help in enhancing the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as Jeon Jungkook and Kylie Jenner, which support the main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • conform
  • social norms
  • evolutionary psychology
  • survival
  • advertising
  • influencer marketing
  • celebrity endorsements
  • trends
  • followers
  • psychological comfort
  • social ostracism
  • mass production
  • high-end fashion
  • uniformity
  • cultural homogenization
  • globalization
  • media
  • spread
  • affordable
  • imitate
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