The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy
The chart shows what makes people happy mostly. The information is separated into two different groups which are under 30 and upper 30.
Initially
, in both groups, the ratio of achievement at work was quite similar (approximately 31-32%).
Also
, the other subject, which is called ''doing hobbies'', is close to each other too (roughly 23%). Whilst, people who are under 30 years old care about having a good appearance, individuals who are over 30 years old are concerning financial security. In both age gaps, those data are a bit the same (19%).
On the other hand
, those under
the
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their
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30s are paying attention to travel rather than being with a family. The proportion of ''the other factors'' is 14% for those under thirty-somethings and
moreover
, it is 10% for those
over
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in
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the
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their
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30s.
To sum up
, with regard to ''doing hobbies'' and ''achievement at work'', those are a bit essential for both ages.
However
, the younger generations are feeling happy
link
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to travel activities and having a good appearance than a person who is over thirty-somethings.
Submitted by mstfizzet1 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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