The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups

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The chart shows what makes people happy mostly. The information is separated into two different groups which are under 30 and upper 30.

Initially

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, in both groups, the ratio of achievement at work was quite similar (approximately 31-32%).

Also

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, the other subject, which is called ''doing hobbies'', is close to each other too (roughly 23%). Whilst, people who are under 30 years old care about having a good appearance, individuals who are over 30 years old are concerning financial security. In both age gaps, those data are a bit the same (19%).

On the other hand

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, those under

the

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their

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30s are paying attention to travel rather than being with a family. The proportion of ''the other factors'' is 14% for those under thirty-somethings and

moreover

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, it is 10% for those

over

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the

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their

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30s.

To sum up

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, with regard to ''doing hobbies'' and ''achievement at work'', those are a bit essential for both ages.

However

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, the younger generations are feeling happy

link

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linked

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to travel activities and having a good appearance than a person who is over thirty-somethings.

Submitted by mstfizzet1 on Sat Feb 18 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

176 words

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The chart below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy

Impacts of technology on education and learning. what are the positive and negative side of this linking

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by private companies rather than governments. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people nowadays are learning on the Internet of going to class. What are the advantages of learning online? Do you think online learning can totally replace the classroom learning?