In many countries around the world, teenagers are involved in crime. Some people say it is because the parents spend long hours at work, thereby having limited time for their children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples

#countries #world #teenagers #crime #people #parents #hours #work #time #children

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Young individuals

attempting

Wrong verb form

attempt

show examples

crime in plenty of regions around the world. Numerous

people

Use synonyms

claim that families spend

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

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long periods at business,

hence

Linking Words

they have less time to spend with their kids. In my opinion, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement. First and foremost, crime tendency is most likely related to economic affairs. If the parents can not able to provide major necessities, some kinds of children tend to violate laws. Particularly, where society is deprived of poverty various crimes occur

such

Linking Words

as drug deals, weapon kidnap and murders revealed by young

people

Use synonyms

For instance

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,these kinds of

provinces'officers

Correct your spelling

province officers

take ample bribes from rich

people

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thus

Linking Words

child violations cannot prevent.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, It is not merely related to

parent's

Fix the agreement mistake

parents'

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budgets, the country's economic situation is the key point for the kid's case role. If the

government

Add a verb

isgovernment

wasgovernment

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not able to prevent inflation, local exchange currency value diminishing and the proportion of crime will increase.

Secondly

Linking Words

, The insufficient schooling system and ignorant society lead to a rise in uneducated young

people

Use synonyms

Because

Add the preposition

ofBecause

show examples

lack of well-educated lectures, inappropriate institutions and scholarship opportunities. It is a fact that the quantity of institutions is not merely efficient for learners. It is compulsory to contain intelligent teachers in order to exert sufficient education. In terms of those kinds of issues encourage children to crimes.

For example

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, I had a friend who wanted to be a doctor in elementary school but his teacher diverted him to studying history.

Subsequently

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, he became unemployed

due to

Linking Words

a lack of appropriate job positions. One day he entered jail because of stealing food from the gas station. In conclusion, spending time with families is not related to violence. The key point is the economical competence of the country and its parents.

Additionally

Linking Words

, an inefficient schooling system and education deficit may cause corruption.

Submitted by erdinc.keserli on Sat Feb 18 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Parental supervision
Peer pressure
Criminal activities
Economic instability
Financial stress
Role models
Social determinants
Neighborhood quality
School environment
Social services
Quality time
Ethical values
Community involvement
Social support systems
Negative influences

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In many countries around the world, teenagers are involved in crime. Some people say it is because the parents spend long hours at work, thereby having limited time for their children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer with relevant examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Developing countries require help offered by international organization to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aids is important. Other believe that practical aid and advice is more important. Discuss both these views and give youw own opinion.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?